After Rebirth, the Heroine is Consumed by Overwhelming Regret Chapter 37

This was utterly humiliating.
Qi Qing lamented to herself. She was already at the late stage of Core Formation; flying through the sky or burrowing into the earth was no problem for her, and she hadn’t been at a disadvantage in battles of wits. Yet, she still couldn’t avoid the embarrassing situation of fainting from soaking in a hot spring.
There was actually a reason for this. Her cultivation had greatly increased recently, but she hadn’t consolidated it through actual combat. It was like someone who had a growth spurt but whose spatial awareness hadn’t caught up, inevitably bumping their head on the doorframe when entering. Soaking in the hot spring could rapidly restore spiritual energy, and since she had a wood spiritual root, which was nourished by water, the effect was amplified, directly overwhelming her and causing her to faint.
When she woke up again, she was lying naked on her back on the bank. The rock beneath her felt warm, almost burning her back with a raw pain. She sat up, removed the clothes draped over her, and took a moment to gather her senses before realizing Yu Yan wasn’t beside her.
Strange, where did she go?
She looked left and right but saw no trace of the other person.
So, she could only get dressed. She called Yu Yan’s name a few times. This canyon was deep and long, and her calls produced countless echoes that returned with the sound of whistling wind. It sounded a bit eerie. She didn’t dare to call out anymore and could only follow the underground river downstream.
With such a loud call, she thought, if Yu Yan were nearby, she would have definitely heard it. Since there was no answer, it means she must have gone far. It’s unlikely she went upstream. Following downstream like this, it shouldn’t be too hard to catch up.
Besides, there were no other paths.
After walking for a while, the canyon grew narrower and narrower. Fine sand and dirt occasionally fell from above. She looked up and saw some huge stone pillars lodged not far above her head. They must have fallen from the surface and gotten stuck due to their large size. She passed by them lightly and carefully, her heart pounding with fear, terrified they might suddenly shatter.
But in the end, it was a scare without any real danger.
She walked until she reached a bend, where she saw a cave. This cave appeared very abruptly, and there were marks of tools around it; it was definitely not naturally formed. She peeked inside and thought she could hear the faint sound of wind. Could Yu Yan have gone in here?
If so, it wouldn’t be strange that she didn’t hear my calls.
She looked around but didn’t find anything special. Yu Yan and she hadn’t yet developed a tacit understanding, nor had Yu Yan left any sign for her.
However, it wasn’t too late for her to leave a sign now. Afraid Yu Yan might pass by without seeing it, she deliberately took out her sword and struck the wall a few times, leaving a large arrow mark on it. Below it, she wrote a line of small words: “I’m going in to take a look.”
Then, she lit a fire starter and walked in.
The cave was very narrow at first, but it widened as she went deeper. Walking all the way to the end, it unexpectedly opened up into an extremely vast grassy field where she could see the sky and green trees.
At the end of this grassy field, further ahead was a cliff.
How strange. Weren’t they already close to the Earth’s core? Qi Qing suddenly had a very surreal feeling. Below the cliff was the Earth’s core. The Earth’s core felt like a very deep and terrifying concept. If she looked down from the cliff, she would probably see an iron ball-like object enveloped in magma, spinning with a sizzling sound.
Of course, her geography wasn’t very good, and she didn’t really know what the Earth’s core looked like. But this image was indeed terrifying, so she had to tell herself not to think about it.
Just then, a giggling sound suddenly rang out.
She jumped in fright and looked back. She saw an incredibly cute little girl, as pure and lovely as ice and snow, running towards her from a distance. The girl ran and stopped, ran and stopped, occasionally picking small flowers from the ground to smell them.
A little girl shouldn’t appear in a place like this. The girl also seemed unable to see her, just walking forward on her own. Qi Qing found it a bit strange, so she walked over to the girl, intending to ask something. But when she reached out to pat her, her hand passed right through.
She couldn’t touch the girl.
She didn’t know what was happening. While she was dazed, she suddenly heard a woman ahead laugh and say, “Slow down, be careful not to fall.”
Qi Qing looked up, and it felt as if all the blood in her body froze instantly. She never expected to meet Hua Jiaolian again in such a place, much less that Hua Jiaolian now had a child. She stood frozen for a long time, unable to utter a single word.
The woman also seemed unable to see her. She picked up the little girl who was rolling on the ground and gently patted the dust off her. The little girl offered her the flowers in her hand, calling her “Mother.” The woman smiled, kissed her, and said, “You really are a little rascal.”
They passed right through Qi Qing’s body and walked off in another direction. They looked like a mother casually playing with her child. Qi Qing was stunned for a long while, realizing she might not be in the same time and space as them. They might be projections, perhaps an illusion, or perhaps an image from that world. Then whose child was this?
Actually, the answer was self-evident.
Qi Qing didn’t know if same-sex couples could have children in this world’s setting, but since there were demons and monsters, same-sex reproduction probably wasn’t anything strange.
Ling Aorui and Hua Jiaolian had a child, a girl.
Qi Qing wasn’t surprised by this outcome, nor did she feel any resentment. It was just that seeing them so happy and fulfilled, a trace of sorrow welled up in her heart. It turned out that after her death, that world hadn’t changed at all. Those who were meant to be happy were happy, those who were meant to be fulfilled were fulfilled. The final chapter she had played out with her death was only of concern to herself. Others merely treated it as a piece of gossip; once it passed, it was over.
It was a world where she alone was hurt.
She had come to this realization long ago, but seeing it for real, she still felt a deep sorrow. So then, who wanted to show her this outcome, and what effect were they trying to achieve?
Moreover, since they were so happy, why did the Ling Aorui from that timeline reincarnate? Why did she incite the Ling Aorui of this world to approach her, to repeat the same mistakes?
Actually, Qi Qing already vaguely knew the answer to this question. She just didn’t want to make things too difficult for herself, didn’t want to disgust herself too much. Ling Aorui’s sudden warmth towards her back then, Su Miaoyin trying every possible way to delay things, and Mo Tao, that person in power, giving his tacit approval—all pointed to the same reason: “she could heal Ling Aorui.”
If that other Ling Aorui hadn’t appeared, she wouldn’t have thought of it. But the other Ling Aorui appearing and wanting to keep her here already explained the issue.
How ridiculous. They just wanted to keep her so she could heal Ling Aorui’s eyes. They had no idea what a great price she had paid, how much suffering she had endured. In her previous life, she had at least managed to weave a dream for herself, but this life, they couldn’t even be bothered to feign patience.
They only cared about themselves, only wanted the plot to unfold according to their desires. And then? Force her to stake everything again, end up with a fate where not even her corpse remained intact, all to fulfill their own happy ending of joyful reunion?
…How could she tolerate such humiliation?!
When she looked up again, Qi Qing’s eyes were filled with grief and indignation. She didn’t want to hate Hua Jiaolian, but since the other party had flaunted themselves right in front of her, she had to strike.
The White Dragon Sword sensed her anger and became even more restless and agitated. It was the natural enemy of demons and monsters; any demonic being could easily arouse its ferocity.
Hua Jiaolian was a fox spirit, and the child she bore was also a half-demon. The White Dragon Sword had been imprisoned by her subordinates for many years and was already filled with hatred for demonic beings. Now, smelling demonic energy, old grudges and new hatreds surged up all at once, making Qi Qing’s hand throb with pain from its vibrations.
When the sword struck, everything went silent.
Sword Technique: Sweeping Away the Undergrowth!
The wind from the sword, carrying sharp thorns, shot out. In an instant, the sky was filled with thorny vines. Every living thing around Qi Qing was pulverized by this one sword strike.
Hua Jiaolian in that illusory image seemed to sense something and looked suspiciously in this direction. But it was too late. The White Dragon Sword had transformed into a giant dragon, tearing them into pieces. The fragments gradually drifted down, scattering in the air, and were then incinerated completely by the flames the White Dragon spat out as it turned back.
The world was finally quiet.
Sheathing the sword, the flames died down, leaving only ashes on the ground.
Only then did Qi Qing realize how powerful the White Dragon Sword actually was. She knew her own level was only Core Formation stage, but the power just now was definitely beyond Core Formation. It was at least the level of a Nascent Soul stage cultivator.
So, a good sword could indeed elevate a cultivator’s strength, allowing them to unleash power as if they were twice as strong.
Strength was what gave people confidence. She never again wanted to endure the extreme frustration of her previous life. From now on, anyone or anything that offended her, she could kill them all, leaving no survivors!
Yes, kill them, kill them all!
“Qi Qing… Qi Qing?”
A faint voice seemed to come from the sky. Qi Qing looked up and saw rain begin to fall. Just as she was about to run into the cave to take shelter, she suddenly woke up.
When she opened her eyes, Yu Yan was looking at her with a worried expression. Seeing her eyes open, Yu Yan immediately said, “You’re awake? …That’s great. I couldn’t wake you up just now, no matter what. It was like you were trapped in a nightmare, constantly muttering ‘kill, kill.’ Who do you want to kill?”
Qi Qing stared at her for a long time, then pinched her own cheek and lay back down dejectedly.
“What? Was it a good dream then?” Yu Yan found it somewhat amusing. How could killing people be a good dream? Worried that Qi Qing might get lost in it, she scooped some water from the river and said, “If you’re still not awake, I’m going to splash you with water.”
“Didn’t you already splash me?” Qi Qing replied lazily.
“So you knew. It seems you’re awake then.” Yu Yan put the water back into the river. After a moment, she said seriously, “We need to be more careful. There are too many things in this secret realm that cause illusions. Even the water might not be safe. From now on, anything we ingest or touch must be thoroughly checked.”
Qi Qing also knew that what happened just now probably wasn’t that simple. Fortunately, neither incident had put her life in danger. Strangely enough, they had been in here for so long but hadn’t encountered any valuable treasures or fierce demonic beasts. Instead, they had come across many strange things.
Could it be that there’s no Holy Grail at all, and the other party deliberately made up a gimmick to play with her?
But it was useless to think about these things now. They could only continue forward and deal with problems as they arose.
The two of them immediately set off downstream again. When they passed the bend in the path, the cave was indeed no longer there. It seemed like it had been a dream ever since she entered the cave. Qi Qing didn’t dare to think too deeply about it. Could it be that she hated Hua Jiaolian in her heart, but couldn’t morally condemn her, and that’s why she had such a dream?
Perhaps.
She didn’t linger and caught up with Yu Yan, who was ahead.
However, in a place she couldn’t see, beneath countless vines, were a few clear, small words that looked like they had just been written.
“I’m going in to take a look.” It was indeed her handwriting.
The two of them followed the underground river, descending lower and lower, gradually approaching the end of the canyon. At the end was a huge open space where the underground river looped back, forming large and small grassy ponds.
The water from the grassy ponds evaporated upwards, allowing many shrubs to grow on the rock walls. These shrubs formed an irregular circle, allowing only a small amount of sunlight to penetrate to the bottom of the valley.
The mist that had been lingering above their heads was pierced by the daylight. A beam of golden light shone down, illuminating a shallow bank in the middle of the underground river, giving it a precious source of life.
That shallow bank, like a solitary island, was covered in swaying flowers. What was even more wonderful was that these flowers were submerged in shallow water. Small fish occasionally swam beneath the flowers, leaping up to nibble at them.
Yu Yan loved flowers very much.
Back then, the young attendant in her cave residence had been enlightened by her using flowers. Qi Qing had also managed to make a good first impression partly because of that bouquet. Later, Yu Yan had even bought flower wreaths for both of them to wear. She could find such small joys in her busy and complicated life and, in turn, share them with those around her.
It was just that the flowers in a garden always had a certain delicate artificiality. These wild flowers, unknown to anyone in this valley, actually made her feel more of the world’s simple charm.
“So beautiful…” she murmured.
“Indeed.” Qi Qing nodded. Yu Yan jumped over the stream and then turned back to help her. After the previous experience, Qi Qing was still a little hesitant. Yu Yan smiled and said, “I’ve checked. There’s nothing suspicious.”
The two of them landed one after another on the shallow bank. This bank was surrounded by grassy ponds, and a gentle breeze carried a very faint fragrance.
They both took several deep breaths of the fresh air, feeling as if the gloom from days of traveling through the canyon had been swept away.
“It seems this isn’t the place,” Yu Yan said. “I don’t sense the aura of any treasure. This just seems to be a useless, pretty place.”
“It’s okay. Not everything needs to be useful.” After relaxing, Qi Qing’s anxiety about the future wasn’t as severe. Anyway, they could only get out by finding the golden cup, so they might as well be thorough and explore completely. That way, even if they didn’t get it, the other party would have nothing to say.
The two of them waded in the water on the shallow bank for a while, feeling an indescribable sense of relaxation. If they hadn’t remembered this was a secret realm, they would have loved to live here.
After laughing and playing for a while, the two of them flew towards the golden light.
When they returned to the surface, it was almost evening again.
This time, the two of them didn’t look for an old house. Instead, they directly set up a canopy in an open area. This canopy was like a tent, only prettier and sturdier, impervious to wind and rain. Qi Qing was about to make something for Yu Yan to eat, but Yu Yan smiled and said, “Why did you forget again? I’m just a soul.”
Qi Qing also smiled. “I forgot. By the way, is your body doing okay over there?”
“It’s still the same, nothing major.” Yu Yan paused, then said, “If we fail, we can just run. That body of mine is just a shell. Making another one would be troublesome, but it’s not absolutely necessary to have that specific one.”
Qi Qing shook her head. “How can we do that? Last time, I already implicated you, causing you to exhaust your spiritual power and almost get into trouble. If I lose your body this time too, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. Actually, sometimes I feel that I’ve accepted your gifts without reason, and I have no way to repay you…”
“I don’t want repayment,” Yu Yan interrupted her. “I’m good to you because I want to be.”
“I know, but…” Qi Qing hesitated. “I feel like I don’t deserve you being so good to me.”
This was the first time she had so clearly stated her insecurity. Perhaps it was because Yu Yan was too good to her, or perhaps Yu Yan had given her enough sense of security. In any case, with a sense of reckless abandon, she confessed her insecurity.
Deep down, she also longed for Yu Yan to give her an answer.
But exposing herself was dangerous. After saying it, she began to feel afraid.
What if Yu Yan regretted it? What if she just brushed it off?
Either outcome would be enough to make her miserable.
She started to regret it. She felt that her current self couldn’t withstand any blows, and she shouldn’t have placed her hopes on someone else.
Yu Yan was silent for a moment, then suddenly said, “What do you think of me?”
Why ask this all of a sudden?
Although Qi Qing was a bit confused, she still answered truthfully, “Perfect.”
She added, “Except you can’t cook.”
Yu Yan couldn’t help but smile knowingly, then said seriously, “You’re not the first person to say that. Actually, before my ascension, I was the most deserving ‘favored daughter of heaven’ in the entire immortal realm. Back then, many people admired me. Countless people gave me scented sachets and magic artifacts.”
“Then…” Qi Qing couldn’t help but feel even more insecure. With so many people, there must have been countless who were stronger and more beautiful than her. If so many good people didn’t catch Yu Yan’s eye, how could she possibly like me?
Being with her then must have been because the Heavenly Emperor forced her…
“But I felt that I didn’t deserve their affection. At that time, I was solely focused on cultivation and couldn’t see anyone else in my eyes. There were also many people at my level. If they hadn’t been distracted by love, they might have achieved great things too. Don’t you think it’s a waste for someone like me to be liked? Yet, this didn’t stop them from admiring me, and it even became a driving force for them to strive forward,” Yu Yan said. “You feel you’re not worthy—that’s your feeling. It doesn’t affect others’ judgment. Those who like you will still like you. Liking someone is actually a very personal thing. It has nothing to do with the person being liked.”
“My liking you has nothing to do with you, so you don’t need to feel burdened.”
Only after Yu Yan finished her last sentence did Qi Qing realize she had said “like.” This was different from the previous “starting this relationship.” The other person hadn’t been vague or evasive but had said it with great certainty.
The other person wasn’t asking her for a response.
The other person had absolute self-confidence, so she could be good to others without any reservations. Only then did Qi Qing understand how twisted up she had been before. That’s right, liking someone and being good to them is perfectly natural.
Liking someone is a personal matter. This meant she could withdraw at any time. The biggest difference between her and Yu Yan was probably that Yu Yan, when giving, had already considered the consequences of not being reciprocated. She, on the other hand, couldn’t even bear the consequences, which is why she had faced defeat.
“I want to become stronger,” Qi Qing said. “I want to hold my destiny in my own hands.”
Yu Yan didn’t know how she had come to such a conclusion, but she wasn’t someone who dwelled on things or overthought them, nor did she think Qi Qing’s words had any other meaning. She just smiled and said, “Alright. Until you can stand on your own, I’ll be your strong support.”
Just as she finished saying this, rain began to fall from the sky.
Yu Yan said helplessly, “Could it be that the Heavenly Emperor can’t stand it anymore and wants to strike me with lightning?”
Qi Qing couldn’t help but smile. “Then were you deceiving me?”
“How could I?” Yu Yan said seriously. “It’s true.”
The light rain fell all night. Qi Qing couldn’t stay awake and fell asleep. When she woke up the next day, she took a deep breath of the post-rain air and felt refreshed all over.
These past few days, she hardly slept, using all her time for cultivation. Who knew, she discovered that even sleeping didn’t hinder her cultivation. She would wake up full of energy. This was an unexpected joy. In just a few days, she had progressed from the early stage of Core Formation to the late stage. That fish definitely had something to do with it.
She inexplicably felt a little sorry for Hua Yayun. So, she gathered her determination, planning to find the Holy Grail as soon as possible and get Yu Yan’s body back sooner. As for who the Holy Grail was ultimately for, that wasn’t important, and she didn’t want to know.
Who knew, just as she finished this thought, she suddenly realized that she had been awake for a long time, but Yu Yan hadn’t made a sound. Her heart sank. She pulled open the curtain to look, and sure enough, the other person was gone again.
Learning from the previous incident, she understood she was caught in a nightmare again. But she wasn’t very clear about what triggered it. She hadn’t eaten anything around her, and she had checked before sleeping; there were no hallucinogenic plants. If she had to say, it was that this time, like last time, she had fallen asleep for a while.
Could it be that as long as she slept, she would fall into this trap?
Qi Qing thought wildly as she got up to observe. Actually, she wasn’t particularly worried. This dream couldn’t trap her anyway, and besides, Yu Yan was outside the dream. She just needed to know what this dream wanted to convey and what she needed to learn from it.
The answer to her question didn’t take too long to arrive.
Soon, a girl in red came galloping from a distance.
This girl was clearly Hua Jiaolian in her youth, probably only eleven or twelve years old. Actually, a girl of this age already had some of an adult’s stature, especially the way she held her horsewhip high, looking incredibly dashing and heroic.
If it weren’t for the grudges from her previous life, it would be hard to look away from her. Qi Qing had to admit that the other person was very beautiful. At least, this kind of bright, youthful aura was something adults found difficult to feign.
Qi Qing was certain this was the eleven-year-old Hua Jiaolian.
For someone like this to dislike a rigid person like Ling Aorui was perfectly normal. In fact, ordinary people would find it hard to like that kind of person. She had done it because of the system; what was Hua Jiaolian’s reason?
She suddenly remembered the advice from those two guardians: even with a life-sharing parasite, there must be someone with a compatible destiny to help escape. Could it be because of this that Hua Jiaolian approached Ling Aorui?
She didn’t know what Hua Jiaolian had said back then that caused Ling Aorui to suddenly decide to use the life-sharing parasite on her. But thinking about it carefully, it certainly wasn’t ordinary romantic affection. Ling Aorui wouldn’t be moved by such things. The only possibility was that Hua Jiaolian had said something related to the common people of the world.
She was indeed just like Hua Yayun, deep and calculating in her thoughts.
Thinking this, the face that had just seemed heroic and dashing suddenly became ferocious. Before Qi Qing could react, the other person suddenly reined in her horse, leaned down, extended a hand towards her, and spoke.
“Want to ride with me?”
Qi Qing involuntarily reached out her hand and found she could actually touch her. But she had only paused for a moment when she suddenly realized the other person’s identity and couldn’t help but say angrily, “Don’t touch me! Disgusting!”