After Rebirth, the Heroine is Consumed by Overwhelming Regret Chapter 38

It was truly disgusting.
There was the disgust of them flaunting their happiness in her face, and the disgust of them individually trying to flirt with her after separating. Ling Aorui alone was disgusting enough, and now there was Hua Jiaolian too. It wasn’t enough for them to harass her on the mountain; they had to follow her into the mystic realm like lingering ghosts. What did they take her for? And what did they think they were?
All this pestering—did they expect her to cure their eyes?
Qi Qing had never seen such shameless people.
Ling Aorui had betrayed her, yet she dared to come back spouting nonsense. When one trick failed, she tried another, even bringing out Hua Jiaolian. Riding a horse together was such an intimate act; how could the other woman even suggest it? Even if they had no shame, she still did.
It was absolutely sickening.
Their unscrupulous methods had utterly disgusted Qi Qing. At that moment, she didn’t care if the other person was an illusion and directly summoned White Dragon, tearing them to pieces. This time, the remains weren’t scraps of paper but blood-red petals that fluttered down, covering the ground.
After the other person died, the illusion automatically broke.
Qi Qing slowly opened her eyes and found Yu Yan watching her with great interest. Seeing her open her eyes, Yu Yan said, “This time you were saying ‘disgusting, disgusting.’ Who was disgusting?”
Qi Qing said helplessly, “Eavesdropping on someone’s sleep-talking isn’t a good habit.”
She didn’t even want to think about those disgusting matters, let alone say them out loud and upset Yu Yan.
Yu Yan smiled. “Well, I want to understand you better. Look, we’ve known each other for so long, but I still know nothing about you. You, on the other hand, seem to have figured out everything about me.”
Understand her?
Qi Qing cleared her throat and said, “I was born in a village near Hanyuan Mountain. My family had sixteen people…”
She had barely begun when Yu Yan shook her head. “That’s not what I meant. I want to know the real you—the you who committed suicide for some unknown reason and then received a chance at rebirth.”
Qi Qing opened her mouth, surprised that Yu Yan knew so much. But on second thought, it wasn’t impossible. The other woman was a divine official and could even reverse time; things ordinary people couldn’t do, she might well be able to.
However, if Yu Yan knew she had committed suicide, she must also know the reason, unless she only knew the outcome and not the specific process.
Qi Qing didn’t want to bring up matters of her past life. She had made her gamble and lost, and she had accepted that. Even if she still felt hatred, it was because she had come to terms with it, was no longer conflicted, and had reconciled with herself. It wasn’t that she wanted to impose the consequences of the past onto them in this life.
And once she told Yu Yan, the other woman would surely fight for her justice. This was something Qi Qing didn’t want to see. Yu Yan had already done so much for her. Even if Yu Yan said it was all voluntary, could she unscrupulously take advantage of the other’s kindness?
She couldn’t do it.
Yes, she couldn’t do it, but those people could. Weren’t they the ones who wanted to use her, luring her into this mystic realm and trying every means to force her to submit?
She gritted her teeth, hatred surging uncontrollably within her. Why were these people so persistent, like lingering ghosts? It was like this at the Heavenly Sword Sect, and it was still like this now that she was out. What she found even more unbearable was that they not only targeted her but also dragged Yu Yan into it.
What had Yu Yan done wrong?
What right did they have to hurt Yu Yan like this?
In the end, it was because she was too weak, and possessed a ‘golden finger’ from the system, that those people saw her as a piece of juicy meat, everyone wanting a bite, everyone wanting to step on her.
Could she only endure this?
Qi Qing slowly stood up, ripples of anger emanating from her body. Yu Yan didn’t know her inner turmoil; she only saw that Qi Qing was filled with killing intent and could fall into the demonic path if she wasn’t careful.
Was it my fault for asking that question?
Yu Yan didn’t know, but she blamed herself greatly. In fact, she had long known that Qi Qing had an inner demon, and it was surely related to Ling Aorui. This was also why she had forcefully pulled Qi Qing back when Qi Qing had been about to walk towards Ling Aorui.
Even if that had been Qi Qing’s intention, she had to stop her.
She wasn’t doing it for herself; she didn’t want Qi Qing to suffer.
This pain would only lessen when Qi Qing was far from the perpetrator, but it would only lessen, not be completely cured. She had asked tentatively, hoping to find the root of Qi Qing’s inner demon.
But unexpectedly, she had still underestimated the sensitivity of the topic.
Qi Qing had been fine recently because no one had brought it up. But once someone did, she would immediately lose control and become like this.
Killing intent overflowed, her long hair whipping in the wind.
She had never seen Qi Qing like this—no, she had. When Qi Qing had resolved to kill Su Miaoyin, even if it meant falling into a trap, she had worn the same expression.
Grief-stricken, helpless, and incredibly fragile.
How much pain must one be in to show such an expression when about to kill someone? Like a small animal forced into a corner, not wanting to hurt others, but having no choice but to fight back.
Yu Yan couldn’t help her eyes from stinging, and her throat felt like it was stuffed with cotton. She knew Qi Qing was a person full of mysteries, and that was part of her charm. But if digging deeper would cause Qi Qing pain, then she would rather know nothing at all.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Qi Qing.” Yu Yan rushed forward and hugged her, choking out, “I won’t press you anymore.”
Under her comfort, Qi Qing’s killing intent gradually weakened, and the ripples around her slowly calmed. Then, Qi Qing slowly hugged her back and said hoarsely, “It’s not your fault, A-Yan. I’m sorry. If only I were stronger, I could protect you. It’s all because I’m too weak that things have become like this.”
“No, it’s me…” Yu Yan didn’t want to reveal that a third of her spiritual power had been sealed. She only said vaguely, “It’s because I didn’t try my best, allowing them to take advantage of the situation.”
The two held each other, each with different thoughts.
Qi Qing was unwilling to tell the truth because she didn’t want Yu Yan to bear too much, while Yu Yan felt she had pushed too hard, causing Qi Qing to recall those painful memories.
But in the end, she still didn’t know what had truly happened.
She didn’t know what in Qi Qing’s dream had forced her to act, or what had disgusted her. Her understanding of Qi Qing was only pieced together from fragments guessed from trivial details. The vast truth was buried in Qi Qing’s heart, and even now, she hadn’t revealed a shred of it.
Yu Yan wasn’t someone who liked to dwell on things, but she couldn’t help feeling sad—one must know that hatred comes from love; if it weren’t for extreme love, such intense hatred wouldn’t arise.
Had Qi Qing once loved the other person that much?
If it were the Yu Yan from before, she wouldn’t have thought so much. She would have only thought that since the Divine Lord wanted her to experience a love trial, she just needed to treat the other person with all her heart until she moved them. As for the other person’s past, she wouldn’t know, nor would she want to delve into it; it was in the past, and knowing wouldn’t change anything.
But now, she was no longer satisfied with just that.
Because Qi Qing still hadn’t moved on. Even though Qi Qing was with her now, what if one day Ling Aorui came to her senses and apologized? Would Qi Qing go with her?
This vague worry fermented in Yu Yan’s heart, giving rise to an emotion worse than jealousy. It was something called ‘fear of loss,’ a term she didn’t even know existed.
She only knew that she didn’t want to constantly worry about Qi Qing leaving.
In the days she had spent with Qi Qing, she had come to understand her to some extent. Qi Qing seemed good-natured, but she was actually a very determined person. If Qi Qing herself didn’t want to say something, no matter how much others pressed, they wouldn’t get an answer.
In the few months since Yu Yan had descended to the mortal realm, she had been tinged by many worldly sentiments. She could no longer remain completely calm, completely detached. She longed to know what had truly happened, even if the truth would cause her pain.
Thus, a dangerous idea formed in her mind.
Qi Qing wouldn’t tell her, but there was someone who would.
Yu Yan knew it was wrong to think this way, but the idea was already driving her mad. Moreover, she felt that person probably wouldn’t lie—and she had ways to ensure they wouldn’t.
Ling Aorui.
Yu Yan knew Qi Qing would never agree to her contacting that person. But she couldn’t accept being kept in the dark forever. If this continued, Qi Qing’s inner demon would also become her own, and they would both be constantly burdened by that truth.
Of course, this was a last resort; she wouldn’t do it unless it was absolutely necessary.
So she hoped that before that future arrived, Qi Qing would tell her personally, so she wouldn’t have to pay such a heavy price.
Qi Qing didn’t know what Yu Yan was thinking. Once she had calmed down, she said, “I’m fine now. Let’s get ready to go.”
Yu Yan nodded and let go of her.
The two walked forward in silence. Before long, they reached the edge of the clearing. Their next task was to continue searching for the gorge; the area behind them had been fully explored, but there was no sign of any treasure.
Qi Qing flew forward without looking back. She didn’t notice that just a few dozen meters back from where they had camped, there was a patch of slightly crimson grass, covered in blood-red petals.
The sword energy of White Dragon still lingered there.
It was her own handiwork.
The two explored forward for a long time and finally found another gorge. This gorge wasn’t as deep; one could see to the bottom at a glance, but it was extremely wide. The rock walls were dotted with caves of various sizes. Looking from afar, it was impossible to tell if any treasure was hidden inside; they could only go down and see.
This exploration was much more time-consuming than before. However, the good thing was that the view was open, so they could respond to any danger in time, meaning there wasn’t too much pressure.
They searched stop-and-go, combing the area for half a day, but found nothing. Qi Qing felt that searching like this wasn’t a solution and suggested they split up.
If they each took a side, it would be more efficient.
Yu Yan agreed, so they each took one side of the rock face. This way, they could still look out for each other without wasting time.
Who knew that not long after they separated, Qi Qing made a new discovery.
Actually, it wasn’t exactly a new discovery, just that this cave was deeper than the previous ones. She carried a lantern and delved in for a long time, finding that it grew narrower the further she went. Moreover, as the cave deepened, strange rodents would occasionally dart out and startle her.
She could only advance extremely slowly.
And the air, without her noticing, was also becoming thinner.
Of course, Qi Qing, being inside, didn’t realize this. She thought it was because she was too nervous, or perhaps due to the discomfort of bending over.
By the time she realized something was wrong, turning around was already very difficult. She could only walk backward, but then she couldn’t see behind her. She retreated a few steps and felt herself step on something strange.