After Rebirth, the Heroine is Consumed by Overwhelming Regret Chapter 29

If your efforts aren’t rewarded, then stop.
This was something that should have been obvious, but she had been too blind and foolish back then. She had forgotten this most basic rule, and as a result, her body died and her soul scattered.
It’s said that if one doesn’t look out for oneself, heaven and earth will strike them down.
Forget about boundless love; she wasn’t boundless, nor did she possess such great love. Her actions back then were entirely for her own selfish reasons. Because she liked the other person and wanted to make them happy. When she saved them, she might not have expected a reward, but she certainly never thought she would die for it.
But the result was that she died, and the other person ended up happily with someone else.
At first, she had tried to convince herself that the other person didn’t know about her sacrifices, that their talk of staying together might have meant friendship, that they had fallen in love with someone else, and there was nothing to be done about it. She couldn’t force them to be with someone they didn’t love.
But while she was afraid of wronging them, they had never feared wronging her.
Why should it be like that?
Why did she have to be so subservient?
Was it wrong to fall in love? Did that give the other person the power of life and death over her? Could they just enjoy her kindness and then pretend not to know?
If they weren’t willing, they should have made it clear from the start!
Why, when she confessed, did they shyly nod in agreement? Why did they then promise to never be parted? Were promises worthless things that could be made to anyone so casually?
Fine, let’s take a huge step back.
Even if they didn’t know she had used her life force to heal their eyes, or that without the life-sharing Gu she would be tormented by evil spirits, what about all the times before? When she helped them adjust to blindness, eased their loneliness, stayed by their side when everyone else betrayed them, was later officially announced as their partner, and helped fend off unwanted suitors?
Weren’t those sacrifices too?
What was she in their eyes? A tool to be summoned and dismissed at will? Someone whose company and help they enjoyed when they were down on their luck, only to be kicked aside once they recovered, treated as an obstacle to their pursuit of true love?
Fine, true love cannot be denied.
She wouldn’t say anything more about that.
Then later, when she became a laughingstock on the mountain, tormented by countless vengeful spirits, truly at the end of her rope, and had no choice but to seek them out, hoping they would help and give her a way to live, what did they say?
“Thank you so much for being by my side when I was so down. I didn’t know what love was back then. I thought that because you were good to me, wanting to repay you was love.”
And the repayment?
Was the repayment locking her out, wholeheartedly accompanying their true love, leaving her to be tormented by countless evil spirits? They returned and didn’t even tell her, not even an invitation to their banquet?
So what was she then? A joke? A nuisance?
Even if there was no love, there was still gratitude owed, right?
Properly repaying a debt of gratitude, doing what should be done, giving the relationship a decent conclusion, or even just treating her as a friend—helping when help was needed, repaying when repayment was due—was that so hard?
Or was it that they simply didn’t want to repay her, considering only their own pain as pain, while others’ suffering had nothing to do with them? Even if she died, was it just her fate?
Was that really her fate?
Besides misjudging someone and rashly making a wrong decision, what else had she done wrong? Was her companionship wrong? Was her help wrong? Or was not asking for anything in return wrong?
She had never asked for anything in return, had she? Sneaking that demon woman back, placing her in their wedding room, even helping cover for them in front of others in the sect—when they asked her to do these things, didn’t they know it would trouble her?
But she still did it, to save a life.
In the end, without her help, they might not even have had a safe place to heal. If she had been more ruthless, even without doing anything herself, just leaking the news, those two would have been expelled from the sect long ago, without even a chance to recover.
All her good deeds were exchanged for endless cold shoulders, not even qualifying for an invitation to the wedding banquet. To say Ling Aorui didn’t have a guilty conscience, not even a ghost would believe it.
So, the other person knew about her pain.
Knew, and yet turned a blind eye. Wasn’t that cold-blooded?
Or were they afraid she’d cause trouble, deliberately isolating her from everyone?
Qi Qing had always felt a tightness in her chest, a breath she kept suppressing, afraid to let it explode. She repeatedly told herself it was her own fault, for giving so much unasked, for not speaking the truth.
Today, Yu Yan’s words suddenly brought her an epiphany—she finally understood the root cause of her pent-up grievances, and realized her resentment wasn’t baseless.
She finally reconciled with herself, and this was the first step towards truly facing her past.
Yes, Ling Aorui seemed innocent, and her actions appeared flawless, but that didn’t mean she was entirely without fault. On the contrary, a tragedy like this was never caused by just one person pushing things along.
A sense of cathartic release welled up from her heart. She was finally no longer tangled up inside, nor did she plan to be that self-sacrificing saint who always had to consider others’ feelings. If she was to hate, she would hate openly and righteously!
As she thought this, she found that much of her stifled energy had cleared.
Yu Yan noticed the change in her and was somewhat surprised. Previously, Qi Qing had a faint aura of resentment about her. This resentment wasn’t always present, but it would suddenly intensify whenever she encountered that Ling Aorui.
That’s why she had guessed that Ling Aorui had wronged Qi Qing.
But just now, Qi Qing’s resentment had suddenly erupted, then slowly calmed down. This was actually a good thing. Bottling things up could lead to constant torment. After an outburst, one could often find logical self-consistency and feel more at ease.
Was it still related to that Ling Aorui?
Yu Yan guessed so. She had even said before that she would help Qi Qing get justice. But later, for various reasons, their confrontation hadn’t yielded any results. The main reason was that the other party had backed down, and Yu Yan’s own condition didn’t allow her to press the attack relentlessly.
But this didn’t mean the matter was over.
Yu Yan looked at the cyan shackles on her wrist. They were fashioned to look like a pair of jade rings, seemingly inconspicuous, but actually used to bind her divine power.
But even so, she didn’t think she would lose to the other person. They would meet again sooner or later. When that time came, even at the risk of being reduced to a mortal, she would help Qi Qing vent this anger.
Thinking of this, she suddenly had an idea.
“Qi Qing, do you want to improve your cultivation?”
Previously, relying on her own high cultivation, she felt that Qi Qing’s cultivation level didn’t matter much. But now, it seemed necessary to prepare for contingencies. Two people’s strength was always greater than one. If she were ever restrained, Qi Qing would still have the ability to escape, so they wouldn’t both fall in the same place.
Of course, Qi Qing wanted to. In fact, ever since her rebirth, not a day had passed when she didn’t think about it. In her previous life, she had lost because of her cultivation. If she had the ability to protect herself, why would she have needed to rely on others’ protection?
But for some time, firstly, she hadn’t yet left the Heavenly Sword Sect and it wasn’t convenient to practice their techniques. Secondly, Yu Yan hadn’t yet accepted her as a disciple, so she couldn’t very well ask to be taught. She was stuck in an awkward transitional phase.
Now that she had left, it was time to put this on the agenda. Since Yu Yan brought it up herself, she was naturally eager to agree.
The two hit it off immediately and decided not to sleep.
While they were motivated and full of energy, they decided to perform the disciple acceptance ceremony first. Although Yu Yan felt it didn’t matter and could just teach her directly, Qi Qing believed that a sense of ceremony was still necessary.
The disciple acceptance ceremony had a fairly standard general procedure: first, the disciple would speak words baring their heart, sincerely requesting the master’s favor. Then, they would present a token, awaiting the master’s decision. If the master agreed, they would also say some words of encouragement, and the ceremony would be complete.
The speech and all that was easy, but the token…
Qi Qing searched herself all over. All she had was the storage ring she had picked up at the market today to hold food. Although the style was quite nice, it felt a bit too cheap to be a token.
She fiddled with the ring, lost in thought. Yu Yan asked, “What’s wrong?”
“It feels a bit rushed. How about I buy a more valuable token tomorrow? This one really isn’t presentable…”
“What’s the big deal? You can just give me a better one later, can’t you?” Yu Yan smiled. “You’re just too serious. It doesn’t really matter whether there’s a token or not. We’re different from other masters and disciples. You are my disciple, and also my…”
She paused, a little embarrassed to voice her affection.
After all, they hadn’t reached the point where they could call each other Dao companions.
Qi Qing saw her expression and her thoughts also drifted elsewhere. They were silent for a moment, and the atmosphere suddenly became somewhat charged with unspoken feelings.
So, she simply took the ring in her hand, composed herself, knelt, and said softly, “Disciple Qi Qing, today I enter this sect. I vow to honor Master, accompany Master for life, listen to Master’s teachings, never disobey, and never question. If I am shown mercy, through life and death, sickness and health, Master’s honor and disgrace will be my greatest concern. I earnestly request Master to bestow your teachings, not to disdain my foolishness, and guide this disciple towards the righteous path.”
“This master accepts.”
She looked up and saw Yu Yan with a smile in her eyes, extending a hand to her. She slowly reached out and slipped the ring onto the other’s jade-like ring finger.
After doing this, she suddenly felt it was a bit like a marriage proposal.
Yu Yan, unaware of her thoughts, helped her up. Once she was standing, Yu Yan said, “This master also has a few words for you. First, I wish my disciple good health and a long life of a thousand years. Second, I wish my disciple to cast off the past and emerge like a butterfly from its chrysalis. Third, I wish for my disciple and I to stay together, year after year, for a lifetime.”
Hearing her last sentence, Qi Qing couldn’t help but feel it sounded even more like wedding vows. What was going on? Wasn’t this a disciple acceptance ceremony? It felt like two people getting married.
Yu Yan held her hand and smiled, “What are you daydreaming about?”
“Nothing…” Qi Qing thought, perhaps Yu Yan’s ‘stay together’ meant as master and disciple. But then again, if they could truly stay together as master and disciple, it wouldn’t be a bad thing either.
At least this kind of relationship would be more stable.
From now on, they were master and disciple.
Qi Qing suddenly felt invigorated and said, “Master.”
Yu Yan paused, suddenly feeling that with this, the previous nickname was now out of place. She couldn’t help but say, “In private, you can still call me A-Yan.”
Qi Qing hesitated, “Is that appropriate?”
“It’s fine. It’s just a form of address. What matters is the heart, not the words,” Yu Yan said. “I still prefer hearing you call me A-Yan. ‘Master’ sounds strangely distant.”
“Alright.” Qi Qing had to agree.
The two were silent for a moment, then Yu Yan said, “I see you’re already at Foundation Establishment. You should know the basic breathing cultivation methods. Let’s start with our school’s mental cultivation technique.”
Qi Qing nodded in agreement. In truth, the fundamental knowledge among immortal sects was largely interconnected. Her foundation was solid, so even if there were some differences, it wouldn’t affect the overall picture.
“I come from the Thousand Birds School. I am the twenty-third generation disciple, and as my disciple, you are the twenty-fourth. Our school emphasizes sword techniques and formation arts…”
Yu Yan explained eloquently, while Qi Qing listened attentively. Ever since she came to this world, no one had ever taught her anything so seriously.
She knew deep down that in all worlds, on any timeline, teachers were an indispensable and important part. Whether they were paid or not, they always imparted their most prized and precious knowledge without reservation.
This in itself was a very rare quality, not to mention some masters who, to help their disciples soar higher, would not hesitate to offer their own lives and efforts. In this respect, it was no longer about money, but a spirit akin to dedication.
Yu Yan didn’t have to teach her, but since she was willing, Qi Qing couldn’t let her down.
A few days passed quickly.
Qi Qing’s progress was astonishingly fast, even Yu Yan was amazed. It wasn’t a boast, but Yu Yan herself was already a legend in the history of the cultivation world. If one were to speak of the most talented cultivators in the past thousand years, she couldn’t be overlooked.
But Qi Qing was even more astute than she had been in her youth.
This astuteness wasn’t related to innate talent or constitution, but more like comprehension ability. Those mental cultivation techniques that seemed extremely dry and tedious, which ordinary people would need considerable effort to memorize, Qi Qing could grasp in just half a day.
She didn’t know that Qi Qing came from a background of exam-oriented education. The amount of material she had to memorize in her third year of high school was a thousand times more complex than these mental cultivation techniques, covering a vast range of unrelated topics. If she could remember all that knowledge so clearly, what were these mere techniques? It was just a matter of finding more shortcuts and patterns.
Of course, memorizing was just the first step.
Next was to thoroughly understand the mental cultivation technique.
This step was more difficult because, to ensure their transmission, mental cultivation techniques were always in their most concise versions. Reading them alone would feel obscure and hard to understand. They required a master’s guidance, coupled with extremely high talent.
Yu Yan had initially thought Qi Qing wouldn’t grasp it so easily.
But Qi Qing once again surpassed her imagination.
When she explained it the first time, Qi Qing was able to ask pertinent questions. The second time, Qi Qing could follow everything with her prompts. By the third time, she began to try putting it into practice.
Watching Qi Qing’s almost terrifying growth rate, she began to wonder if she had gotten something wrong. Could Qi Qing have studied their school’s mental cultivation techniques somewhere before? Was Qi Qing’s cultivation level fake, her actual skill much higher?
Of course, that was impossible.
She wouldn’t misjudge such a small thing. The only possible explanation was that Qi Qing was truly very intelligent, but the Heavenly Sword Sect had suppressed her for so many years, not giving her a chance to shine.
And once she encountered a master like herself, who could be considered normal, she immediately became like a compressed piece of cotton, frantically absorbing nutrients. This progress was too obvious, too immense, to the point of being overly astonishing.
Qi Qing also hadn’t expected the so-called mental cultivation techniques to be so simple. To her, they were like catchy rhymes, similar to ancient poems. She had been memorizing poetry since she was eight, for over twenty years. Many things had become second nature. She could mostly convert them into plain language at first glance. Even if there were unfamiliar words, once Yu Yan explained them and she connected them with the context, she had no trouble understanding seventy to eighty percent. When they appeared again, she could infer other things from them.
To her, this was a matter of course.
But she didn’t know that this era had no so-called exam-oriented education. Knowledge was passed down orally, making it impossible to cultivate systematic learning methods. This ability she didn’t pay much mind to could, in this era, instantly surpass all cultivators with “superior aptitude.”
In less than half a month, she had thoroughly mastered the mental cultivation technique.
Next was learning sword techniques.
Practicing swordsmanship required a large area, especially for powerful, lethal moves. Even a demonstration needed enough space. They could only bid farewell to the old woman and head east to find a suitable place.
And to the east lay the territory of the demon realm.
There were quite a few demon cultivators in this world. For example, Jiu Chan came from the demon realm. She was an orthodox demon cultivator who had done no evil since gaining sentience. Her luck was also extremely good; she never encountered those cultivators who couldn’t stand demons and insisted on exterminating them.
Only then could she ascend so smoothly, becoming a god or immortal.
The relationship between human cultivators and demon cultivators was very delicate.
Some cultivators believed that everyone was equal in the face of cultivation. Although demon cultivators had lowly origins, as long as they hadn’t done anything wrong, there was really no need to harp on this point.
Other cultivators felt that humans and demons walked different paths. Especially those low-level demon cultivators, who secretly took shortcuts by harming mortals. This further intensified the conflict between humans and demons. Humans were considered the pinnacle of all creation; demon cultivators needed a certain level of cultivation even to take human form, which was enough to prove they were inferior.
Over the years, humans and demons had mostly kept to their own territories, avoiding contact unless necessary. However, in the border regions, clashes between the two sides were already raging, though such matters were not openly discussed.
Yu Yan didn’t want to go to such a place of conflict. She truly had a poor impression of certain demon cultivators. But to the south and north were dead ends. If they didn’t want to turn back, this was the only path. Crossing the demon realm was the way to open road.
Qi Qing, however, felt it was alright. She had no prejudice against demon cultivators. The only demon cultivator she had seen in her previous life was Hua Jiaolian. That person had never directly threatened her safety, they had never spoken, and she didn’t know their temperament.
As for other demon cultivators, she hadn’t met them and couldn’t judge.
Yu Yan sighed, “You need to understand, if only a few people spoke ill of demon cultivators, it might be due to prejudice. But for so many years, in the immortal realm, whether spoken or unspoken, half of them look down on demon cultivators from the bottom of their hearts. Why do you think that is? Is it really because cultivators are unreasonable and can’t distinguish right from wrong?”
“…”
Qi Qing somewhat understood. Yu Yan meant that demon cultivators themselves were not entirely innocent, otherwise they wouldn’t face such widespread opposition. Those who spoke of equality between humans and demons were probably just cultivators who hadn’t had contact with demon cultivators, making naive assumptions.
In any case, they would find out once they got there.
The two set out from the town. After half a day’s walk, they reached Jueyuan Peak. This peak was ten thousand zhang high, standing between the immortal and demon realms, a natural chasm separating the two.
Fortunately, Qi Qing’s cultivation had greatly increased, and she could traverse even the highest mountains as if on flat ground. However, she didn’t yet have her own life-bound sword. To save energy, she squeezed onto the Flying Fish Sword with Yu Yan. They were pressed very close together as the sword flew an undulating path, but it felt secure.
After two days, they finally crossed over it.
On the other side of the mountain was a quiet forest, filled with beautiful golden wattle trees. In midsummer, the golden wattle flowers were at their best, emitting a faint, alluring fragrance. Golden globes of flowers hung all over the treetops, almost completely covering the leaves.
As midsummer approached, the flowers bloomed to their fullest extravagance. It was truly a riot of blossoms, a dazzling sight. A shallow layer of golden petals covered the ground, and walking on it felt almost like treading on a golden beach, soft and rustling.
“So beautiful…” Qi Qing couldn’t help but exclaim.
“The more remote and untouched a place is, the more likely you are to find such stunning scenery.” Yu Yan also loved such vibrant flowers. They looked splendid, beautiful, and lush—a rare sight in the Celestial Realm.
She added, “This is still the territory of the immortal realm, and few people come here, so there shouldn’t be any danger. I’m a bit tired too. Why don’t we rest here for the night, and continue our journey after we’ve recovered our energy?”
Qi Qing naturally agreed. She knew Yu Yan was only saying she was tired to accommodate her. Yu Yan always handled these small, considerate details so tactfully, making others feel comfortable while also achieving the most convenient outcome.
Sometimes, she felt Yu Yan was too perfect.
A little later, as Yu Yan was setting up to cook, Qi Qing discovered her judgment wasn’t entirely accurate. Logically, they didn’t need to cook, or even eat. But Yu Yan was in high spirits, saying that since they were here, they should experience the fun of a picnic.
She had Qi Qing set up the tent while she volunteered to do the cooking.
Actually, she didn’t need to do much. The food was ready-made and wouldn’t spoil in the storage ring; it just needed to be heated in a pot.
Qi Qing was setting up the tent nearby. Halfway through, she smelled a faint burning odor in the air. She quickly looked back and saw that, for some reason, the pot had caught fire. Yu Yan was frantically adding water to the pot. The water accidentally overturned the pot, dousing the firewood underneath as well.
When she went over, Yu Yan was staring blankly at the mess on the ground. Most of the ingredients from the pot had spilled, and a small wisp of green smoke rose slowly, as if in mockery.
“…”
Before Qi Qing could ask, Yu Yan immediately snapped back to her senses, cleaned up the mess on the ground, and put on a relaxed expression, saying it was her first time cooking and it was a bit chaotic. It was fine, she’d try again, and this time she’d make fish for her.
Qi Qing, worried she might get hurt, kept a close watch.
She watched Yu Yan light the fire and set up the pot. Then, after the pot was hot, Yu Yan put the whole fish directly into it. Qi Qing didn’t know when she had caught the fish, but by the looks of it, its scales hadn’t been removed. And from the way it was flopping around in the pot, it was highly probable its guts hadn’t been removed either.
And most despairingly, she hadn’t even added any oil.
When Qi Qing approached again, Yu Yan was pressing down hard on the struggling fish with the pot lid, trying to keep it from jumping out.
“A-Yan…”
“Don’t worry, it’ll be ready soon.”
“No… it probably won’t be…”
Qi Qing gently put her hand on Yu Yan’s and firmly suggested, “A-Yan, why don’t you let me handle this, okay?”
Yu Yan stared at her for a moment, then slowly released her hand.
Qi Qing deftly took out the fish, put it in a nearby bucket, then cleaned the burnt pot. She started again by heating oil. While the oil was heating, she quickly cleaned and scaled the fish. At the perfect moment, she placed it in the pot, flipped it, poured in sauce, and began to simmer it.
Yu Yan watched from the side, dumbfounded. After a long pause, she said, “…Are you a god?”
Qi Qing was caught between laughter and tears by her words. She just said, “Have you never cooked before?”
Yu Yan nodded.
“Then leave this kind of thing to me in the future,” Qi Qing said. “However, there won’t be too many opportunities like this. Just this once. After this, let’s stick to cultivation as usual.”
Yu Yan nodded silently, looking utterly adorable.
The two sat by the fire for a while. When the pot came to a boil, Qi Qing ladled a bowl of fish soup for her. Yu Yan took the bowl and had a sip. Her eyes immediately sparkled, shimmering enchantingly in the firelight.
“Is it good?” Qi Qing asked.
“How did you make it?” Yu Yan asked.
“I didn’t add anything special; this is the food’s natural flavor.”
“So it tastes this good… It’s a pity there’s only one.”
“Where did you catch it? We haven’t been apart at all.”
Yu Yan smiled and pointed to Jueyuan Peak opposite them. “Just now, while we were descending, I noticed a clear spring. It was halfway up the mountain, and there was only this one fish in it. I caught it with a casual wave of my hand, not expecting it to be so delicious.”
Qi Qing looked up but didn’t see the clear spring she mentioned.
Such a rare delicacy was a serendipitous find; it would be difficult to seek it out again. This place was rich in spiritual energy, so it wasn’t surprising for such a delicious fish to grow here.
After finishing the fish soup, the two went into the tent and settled down to sleep.
Actually, as Qi Qing’s cultivation gradually improved, she no longer needed to sleep, nor did she have bothersome things like needing the latrine. All her time could be dedicated to focused cultivation.
Yu Yan had already attained the body of a divine official; even eating and drinking were forms of cultivation for her, so her life was actually more regular. These past few days, teaching Qi Qing had already disrupted her biological clock. Tonight, with nothing else to do, Qi Qing let her rest early, while she herself would cultivate for a while, acting as a night watch.
By the time Yu Yan’s steady breathing could be heard, Qi Qing had already entered a meditative state.
Somehow, she felt it was very easy to enter meditation tonight, and the sensation of absorbing spiritual energy was also very smooth. This smoothness was incomparable to before. Qi Qing was good at memorization, but somewhat struggled with cultivation. These past few days, her cultivation speed had faintly shown signs of not keeping up with the techniques. Therefore, she had dedicated all her free time to cultivation, fearing she would delay Yu Yan’s teaching.
Tonight, for the first time, she experienced what it meant for “cultivation to be as simple as drinking water.” Perhaps it was because the spiritual energy here was abundant. She circulated her energy for several cycles and felt increasingly at ease and comfortable.
Looking inward, she could gradually see signs of sprouting in her originally empty elixir field. Or rather, it had already sprouted. Just as she was concentrating, her spiritual root suddenly began to grow.
Sprouting, growing, nurturing a seedling, blooming.
Everything happened in an extremely short amount of time. Before Qi Qing could react, it appeared, vibrant and full of life. This was, of course, not normal. Qi Qing couldn’t help but worry—had something gone wrong? Had she inadvertently rushed her progress and harmed it?
But her spiritual tree showed no signs of an unstable foundation. Flowers bloomed and fell, and in just a few minutes, a crystal-clear, translucent fruit emerged from the base of the flower.
Golden Core.
She was actually about to form her Core!
Qi Qing didn’t dare to breathe. She had heard other disciples say that the process of Core Formation was extremely dangerous. Any mistake could lead to qi deviation.
Logically, she should have woken Yu Yan to help guard her, but everything was happening too quickly. She had no chance to stop.
By the time she came back to her senses, the Golden Core had already formed. She could feel a soft glow emanating from her entire body, and a deep sense of satisfaction filled her heart.
Just as she was about to wake Yu Yan, she heard a few whistles from afar. It sounded like many people were rushing towards this place. Their voices were clear and reached her ears distinctly.
“Hurry, tonight is the night the Purple Sun Snow Fish appears! It’s only one day a year, and today is the best time to catch it!”
“Boss, what’s so important about this fish that we have to go to such lengths to catch it?”
“What do you know? Palace Master Hua’s daughter has that strange illness and needs to eat many rare treasures. Who knows, if the fish we offer works, we might even become a prince consort.”
“Hehe, speaking of which, that Eldest Miss Hua is really beautiful. If I could marry her, I’d die without regrets…”