The Little Peacock Raises a Snake (GL) Chapter 48

Although Yun Su had lost the memories of her previous life, Qu Linyan firmly believed she was Fu Xiaoba.
The look in her eyes when she was afraid, the slight stammer when she was nervous, the flavors she liked most when she ate, every one of them was similar to before.
A personality so bold yet so timid, and so easily trusting, where in heaven and earth could a second one be found?
Yun Su was the silly girl she had carelessly lost.
Back then, she had lost her. Now that she had found her again, she would never let go.
When a human drank Meng Po Soup and entered reincarnation, they forgot the past life completely and could never recover it.
But immortals were different. When immortals underwent tribulations, what they drank was not Meng Po Soup, and the path they walked was not the road of reincarnation. After the tribulation ended, there were methods that could make them forget only their mortal life without damaging other memories.
Only, Qu Linyan had heard long ago that in the three realms, other than Meng Po Soup, every spell and spiritual medicine that could make someone forget was no more than a kind of seal. Since that was so, the past life had not vanished like smoke. There would always be a way to find it again.
Xiangsi had once said that habits were things carved into the three souls and seven spirits. They could slowly change, but they could not be erased. Some habits, once they had existed, could be easily found again no matter how much time had passed. She was a demon cultivated from the devil flower Tearstain, the demon in the three realms who understood the weaknesses of the human heart best. No one knew better than she did how to use the secrets hidden deep in a person’s heart.
If Xiangsi had been right, then the best way to awaken Yun Su’s memories of her previous life was to first recover the habits that belonged only to Fu Xiaoba.
In that bamboo forest, there had originally been only one bamboo courtyard modeled after Wuyou Valley. But to awaken Yun Su’s memories, Qu Linyan spent three days relying on old memories to restore, as much as possible, the furnishings of every room in the bamboo courtyard. She also infused a little Tearstain poison into the incense burned inside.
This poison drew out love, hatred, and obsession. A small amount would not hurt anyone, but it could disturb a person’s feelings without their realizing it.
Three hundred years ago, Qu Linyan had obtained, from Qu Muqing’s inner core, the power that should have belonged to Xiangsi. Later, in the room she had shared with Fu Xiaoba, she sensed a faint trace of Tearstain poison. Only in that moment did she understand that what had truly harmed Fu Xiaoba so miserably was her own negligence, and the trust she had placed in Xiangsi.
The seed of the nightmare Fu Xiaoba feared most had been deliberately planted by Xiangsi, all so Fu Xiaoba would reveal her bloodline in Hundred Flowers Valley, draw the heavenly realm into battle, and be sacrificed amid the chaos.
Over the past three hundred years, Qu Linyan had once hated every bit of power inside her that came from Xiangsi. Yet she also had no choice but to rely on that power. First, she earned great merit for Chu Yuebai during the devil clan’s internal chaos. Later, she injured Zhiming on the bank of the River of Forgetfulness. And now, she was trying to use it to awaken Yun Su’s memories and find the Fu Xiaoba of the past.
No one but her could understand this contradiction.
But so what? As early as three hundred years ago, she had already lost everything. The only reason supporting her will to live was that thread of hope that she might save Fu Xiaoba. She had sworn long ago that as long as Fu Xiaoba could return, she was willing to do anything and sacrifice anything.
From far away, Chu Yuebai saw Qu Linyan sitting in a daze at the edge of the broken cliff in Soul-Wounding Valley. She sighed softly and walked forward. “She is still alive, and you brought her back. But I feel that… you have not been happy lately.”
Over the past three hundred years, Qu Linyan had always hidden the grief in her heart very well, as if she had lost all joy and sorrow. After Yun Su returned, she did seem to come alive again. But what pressed down in her brows and eyes was not joy. It was a deep sense of loss.
“Xiaoba once said she would only give me one lifetime’s chance. At that time, I was not greedy either. I thought one lifetime was truly enough.” As Qu Linyan spoke, she lowered her eyes and said softly, “But I never imagined that one lifetime could be so short… Now, although I have brought her back, she no longer remembers me. She said the past life is already over, and everything we once went through together no longer counts. She also said… said I was being wishful and disturbing her peace.”
As Qu Linyan spoke, she could not help gritting her teeth. “But I just cannot accept it. I just feel… things between her and me should not end like this. Why should she be cruel enough to put me down, then demand I let go too, demand I watch with open eyes as she marries someone else?”
“Now you carry Tearstain power, and the Dreamweaving Shuttle is in your hands. You are confident you can make her remember everything. It is only a matter of time, is it not?” Chu Yuebai comforted her. “She will remember everything. She will remember you. You are no longer who you were back then, and she is no longer that weak little demon. As long as both of you are firm enough, no one can separate you again.”
“But I am afraid she is not firm.” As Qu Linyan spoke, she could not help smiling bitterly. “If she were truly firm, how could she have forgotten me? Perhaps, back then, I failed to protect her, and she has long since been utterly disappointed in me… I am afraid. Afraid that after she remembers everything, she will hate me, hate me for breaking my word, hate me for being useless.”
Chu Yuebai hugged her knees and sat beside Qu Linyan. “But you never thought of sacrificing her, did you? From beginning to end, you never wanted to hurt her. To be with her, you nearly paid with your life too.”
“But I am still alive,” Qu Linyan said. “I once told her I would protect her with my life. If she was gone, I would not live alone… But what happened later? She died, yet I still lived.”
At this point, Qu Linyan suddenly laughed at herself. “I am just a great liar.”
Under heaven, who would forgive a great liar?
“Qu Linyan, you should be the person who knows Xiaoba best. Back then in Qianyang, you lied to her like that, and she was still willing to exchange her life for yours. Now, why do you not trust her sincerity toward you?” Chu Yuebai frowned. “Just because she forgot you?”
After Chu Yuebai finished, she turned to look at Qu Linyan’s complicated expression and said, “Back then, you had already done everything you could. I was the one who came late. That was your difficulty. You blamed yourself for it for so long, so you should understand better than anyone what it means to have no choice. Since that is so, have you not thought that she might have her own difficulty? Is it possible… that she was also forced to forget you?”
Qu Linyan frowned. “Forced…”
“Or perhaps she only did not want to become your burden again.” As Chu Yuebai spoke, she lifted her eyes toward the horizon. Before Qu Linyan could recover, she continued, “Back then, the way you two looked at each other was so firm. Nothing like now, with so many concerns. It really is strange. Why is it that people dare to be reckless only when they are young and have nothing, but once the power in their hands can truly overturn clouds and rain, they become afraid to act?”
Chu Yuebai’s tone was mild, but Qu Linyan seemed to wake from a dream. She clenched her fists hard, as if trying to grasp something.
“I will not say more.” Chu Yuebai stood and patted the dust from her skirt, then sighed loudly. “The Devil Venerable’s birthday is coming soon, so I have to return to the devil clan. As for you, do not keep drilling into dead ends because of that little guilt in your heart. I cannot enlighten you at any moment.”
Qu Linyan could not help smiling and shaking her head. She lifted her eyes to look at Chu Yuebai for a moment, then said, “Thank you.”
Chu Yuebai froze. It took a long while before she came back to herself.
For three hundred years, Qu Linyan had never said thank you to her.
She knew that no matter how much authority or freedom she gave Qu Linyan, on that day three hundred years ago, she had still arrived too late.
Not only that, she had said she could save Fu Xiaoba, yet she had also put forward a condition that was nearly impossible for Qu Linyan to fulfill.
Let alone Qu Linyan, even if it were herself, she would probably have been unable to stop feeling resentful deep down.
Now that Qu Linyan had found that person again, the knot between them from these three hundred years was finally undone.
“Why be polite? You are a friend I once risked my life for, and Xiaoba is too.” Chu Yuebai smiled brightly. “I am leaving. Next time I come, I hope I hear her call you something different.”
Hearing this, Qu Linyan hugged her knees and laughed too. “Different how? Evil beast?”
“That is not impossible. It has a strange charm.” As Chu Yuebai spoke, she dodged sideways to avoid the snowball Qu Linyan threw at her, waved to Qu Linyan, and turned to leave.
Qu Linyan lifted her eyes toward the gray sky above her, and her mood suddenly became much better.
*
It was another snowy night with a troubling wind.
Yun Su could no longer remember how many days and nights had passed since she was captured and brought here. She only knew Qu Linyan had hidden her very well. She could not get news from outside, and other than Qu Linyan, no one had ever come to this place.
Recently, she had been dreaming often, and during the day, Yun Su was somewhat dazed.
Ever since coming here, the little black snake she had searched for again and again in dreams for three hundred years yet could never obtain had suddenly appeared in her dreams with perfect clarity.
Everything that happened in the dreams was very ordinary, yet within that ordinariness there was warmth.
The little black snake never spoke, but she could tell from its eyes that it had to be a demon with spiritual awareness. And the her in the dream seemed to like that little black snake very, very much. She liked it so much that no matter where she went, she had to bring it along, and no matter where she was, she had to chatter at it.
In truth, from the first time she truly saw that little black snake in her dream, she knew the little black snake she had held in her heart for three whole hundred years was not a real snake, but an injured black flood dragon.
During the days she was kept under house arrest here, Yun Su always wanted to ask Qu Linyan clearly what exactly had happened between them, and why they had parted in the end.
But ever since Qu Linyan had been angered by her on the first day here, other than bringing food every day, she no longer wished to say much to her.
As for Yun Su, whether she sat in the bedroom, the study, or the courtyard in a daze, she kept thinking about everything in her dreams.
She dreamed of herself using clumsy little wings to cook rice with hot water. She dreamed of herself wiping the little black snake’s body and changing its medicine. She dreamed of the embarrassment and faint shyness in the little black snake’s eyes.
Everything, though separated by a lifetime, also felt as if it had happened yesterday.
At some unknown time, Yun Su became a little unable to tell dream from reality. When she woke and could not see everything from the dream, she even felt especially disappointed.
Several times, she could not help wondering: had she truly once been a carefree little peacock?
Only, she had been born with noble blood and had a marriage contract with Zhiming. Even if she did not love cultivation and her cultivation was low, no one dared say half a word against her to her face. In the heavenly realm, she had clearly been carefree too. So why did such an ordinary dream make her yearn so deeply?
If the previous life was a grand dream, how wonderful it would have been if she had never woken.
Thinking this, she blew out the lamp early, climbed into bed, tucked the quilt around herself, closed her eyes, and slowly fell asleep.
Just then, the locked bolt suddenly dropped to the floor. The bedroom door was gently pushed open, then closed carefully again.
Qu Linyan walked lightly to Yun Su’s bedside and crouched down. She wanted to brush Yun Su’s cheek, but was afraid she would wake her. The tenderness and longing in her eyes had nowhere to rest.
Her raised hand hesitated for a long time before finally withdrawing softly.
She lowered her head, glanced at the Dreamweaving Shuttle in her hand, and lightly touched it to the space between Yun Su’s brows.
The next second, her vision went black, and a voice so familiar it hurt sounded beside her ear.
“Little Black, Little Black, are you cold?”
Her eyelids were heavy. With some difficulty, she opened her eyes a crack and saw a round little peacock lift her left claw and step into the peacock nest where Qu Linyan was. Then the little peacock sat her bottom down, leaned forward, and pressed Qu Linyan solidly beneath her.
The astonishingly similar scene made Qu Linyan’s whole body go numb, and her mind nearly ran out of air.
Back… back then, at this moment, she seemed to have murdered Fu Xiaoba. But what exactly had she said to Fu Xiaoba at the time?
It seemed to be…
“Impudent…”
The little peacock froze. The voice of the little black snake beneath her was not loud or fierce. On the contrary, it was very gentle. This made her overjoyed.
“Little Black! You can talk? It looks like you have been working very hard at cultivation lately!”
“Keep working hard, keep working hard!” As the little peacock cried out in happy surprise, she awkwardly twisted left and right, trying to lower her head and look at the little black snake pressed beneath her. But at that moment, she discovered that the little black snake suddenly wound up around her from below, wrapping around her bit by bit.
Finally, that little black head came close before her and flicked its tongue against the tip of her beak.
The little peacock froze completely.
She saw the little black snake tighten its tail around her a little and say, “Pressing me beneath you like this, how are you going to take responsibility?”