Spectating the Angsty Romance of the Master and Disciple from the Sect Next Door Chapter 38

For Li Jin’an, every matter related to Xie Huaixue was worth agonizing over repeatedly. Clearly, she had inherited a habit from before she lost her memory.
That evening, she carried a bundle of firewood bought from someone else home, and the orchid was a few taels of silver more expensive than at Hua Nong’s place.
Fortunately, Li Jin’an had her private stash of money, and Xie Huaixue occasionally gave her some pocket money, so this extra expense didn’t need to be reimbursed by Xie Huaixue. Otherwise, the accounts wouldn’t match.
After returning as if nothing had happened, neither Li Jin’an nor Xie Huaixue mentioned the matter again. They both seemed calmer than the other.
Li Jin’an no longer observed Xie Huaixue, but she developed a new habit: squatting in corners like a small mushroom, staring blankly. However, she wasn’t gloomy; she would move with the sun, vowing to follow its path.
In the morning, she’d squat in the southeastern part of the courtyard, and in the afternoon, she’d squat in the northwestern part. At noon… she wouldn’t squat anymore. Instead, she would nap under the veranda, basking in the sun.
It was also a kind of ‘work at dawn, rest at dusk’ in another sense.
But did Li Jin’an come to any conclusions from her struggle?
No, she didn’t.
She would just stare blankly for a long time. After seeing Xie Huaixue’s figure, her gaze would automatically follow Xie Huaixue closely. Only when she suddenly came back to her senses did she realize she had been staring at Xie Huaixue for a long time.
Once or twice, Li Jin’an would still feel annoyed. After three or five times, she started to convince herself. After seven or eight times, she firmly believed that Xie Huaixue appeared in her sight solely for her to look at.
There were only two living people in the house, and only they could see each other. Others who wanted to look couldn’t, for example, the young woman who delivered meals from the restaurant. In terms of pettiness and holding grudges, Li Jin’an was terrifyingly good.
The neighboring old woman’s family held a lively wedding banquet; the entire alley was bustling. The old woman’s granddaughter had a red beauty mark on her brow and delightedly showed it off to Xie Huaixue, who came to present the wedding gift.
As a teacher, Xie Huaixue was unwilling to dampen her student’s self-confidence, so she praised it as festive and beautiful, as usual, making the little sprout extremely happy.
Hero Li, standing by, crossed her arms and pouted. Thinking that children nowadays were getting worse with each generation, she hadn’t been so easy to coax when she was little.
Li Jin’an tried hard to recall what she and Xie Huaixue were like when they were little, but the harder she tried, the more she felt sad. She couldn’t remember a single thing no matter how hard she tried. She looked up and found Xie Huaixue looking back at her with concern.
White clothes, turning around to gaze back, eyes not cold, with a hint of tenderness… In a flash of inspiration, a scene similar to the present flashed before Li Jin’an’s eyes. It was Xie Huaixue, a little more naive than now. She could even feel the stirring… restless mood from back then, as if she was relentlessly searching for someone to duel, unwilling to wait even a second, very urgent, afraid she’d be too late to scold someone.
Li Jin’an thought deeply for a second, then chose not to think too deeply. She happily skipped to follow Xie Huaixue, concentrating on dealing with the dishes Xie Huaixue put in her bowl.
The in-laws were butchers, so there was no shortage of meat at the wedding banquet of the neighboring old woman’s younger daughter, and it was relatively clean. Otherwise, after presenting their gift money, they would have had to leave.
Li Jin’an ate with her head down. She looked up and found that the people at their table were all rather reserved. They deliberately slowed down when picking up food from the plates, then slowly put it into their mouths. Compared to the other guests who were wolfing down their food, their table was filled with an eerie stiffness, and more than half the dishes on the table were still left.
She turned her head, saw Xie Huaixue beside her, and immediately understood what was going on. The power of Teacher Xie’s cold face not only worked on the little sprouts in the private school but could also affect adults.
Li Jin’an leaned closer to Xie Huaixue and whispered, teasing her, “If you even coughed, I guarantee they’d all drop their chopsticks in fright.”
Xie Huaixue glanced at her indifferently, not bothering with her silly words.
Li Jin’an was about to babble something more with her little mouth. Xie Huaixue also lowered her voice, mimicking her, her tone inexplicably carrying a hint of tenderness. “If you like, I can cough for you when we get home, how about that?”
“…”
Certainly not.
How could this person be so mischievous, who did she learn from?! Not learning good things!
Li Jin’an blankly turned her face and lowered her head. She poked at the napa cabbage she disliked with her chopsticks, the tips of her exposed ears a fiery red, instantly revealing the little thoughts her owner desperately tried to hide.
For some reason, the other guests at this table immediately felt that the food in their mouths no longer tasted good. And it was particularly choking; they felt full without even eating.
Li Jin’an was also full. She put down her chopsticks and looked at Xie Huaixue with a straight face. “Leaving?”
“Let’s go.”
After they left, others no longer had to eat affectedly, but they inevitably started talking about Hero Li and Teacher Xie, this pair of fiancées. They said how clingy the two were, that just looking at them once made one feel overly sweet, like they had killed the candy seller. As for old married couples like them, they had long reached the point of ‘out of sight, out of mind’ with their own partners; young people were still more interesting…
After returning home, to prevent Xie Huaixue from coughing for her, Li Jin’an closed her eyes and steeled her heart, unleashing her big move first. “Let’s get married too, just like the neighboring old woman’s daughter and the butcher’s daughter, a family alliance.”
“Sometimes, people just need some inexplicable impulse and courage to just plunge forward. Otherwise, after that moment passes, once they calm down, they’ll only become timid and constrained, unable to speak the words that were on the tip of their tongue, senselessly wasting a lot of affection.
These past few days, Li Jin’an had realized that in the eyes of outsiders, she and Xie Huaixue had already skipped the fiancée stage; they were more than wives. The two of them were completely bound together, an inseparable whole. Even if they broke off the engagement, others would only think they had a minor disagreement and would advise them to reconcile.
Their lives were no longer separate.
It was the green plum wine when memories were lost, the stability found upon waking in the ruined temple, the companionship day and night in the small courtyard, and the countless days of the future.
You were in me, and I was in you; there was no source to cut away.
The unlearned Li Jin’an called this a tangled mess.
Li Jin’an always felt that her life shouldn’t be like this; the sword in her hand should be sharper, capable of cutting down all injustice. But every day she woke up to a narrow, dim little room that made her feel dizzy, unwilling to wake up, waiting for Xie Huaixue to call her.
Since that was the case, Li Jin’an could no longer bear the cost of losing Xie Huaixue. Therefore, the best choice was to get married.
Two families joined, a union sealed, a good bond forever formed, a matching pair.
Nothing was more fitting than Hero Li and Teacher Xie.
Unexpectedly, Xie Huaixue wasn’t happy. Her expression remained unchanged, but her eyes deepened. She asked in a very soft voice, “Do you know what marriage means?”
Li Jin’an felt underestimated. She crossed her arms, displeased. “How could I not know? It’s just like today; we get married and live our lives together.”
“The students playing house in the private school say that too,” Xie Huaixue commented indifferently.
Even those little sprouts knew more than Li Jin’an. They had divided into parents, grandparents, maternal grandparents, sons, daughters… family trivialities, daily necessities, even plots of divorce and property disputes going to the yamen. They were far more professional than Li Jin’an.
Li Jin’an squinted at her, very displeased. She felt Xie Huaixue was treating her like a little sprout.
Xie Huaixue allowed her to scrutinize her, her attitude not softening.
“But, Xie Huaixue,” Li Jin’an said seriously, “Perhaps I don’t think as much as you, nor do I understand profound principles from books, but I know that from the moment I opened my eyes and saw you, we had no other choice. Just like Hero Li and Teacher Xie, we are destined to become famous together in Huai’an City.”
As she spoke, Li Jin’an scoffed, “If you don’t marry me, who else do you intend to marry? That good-looking young woman?”
“?”
Xie Huaixue, who had been listening to Li Jin’an with full attention, froze for a moment, then looked up at her in confusion.
“Who is that good-looking young woman?”
Xie Huaixue’s expression rarely showed a hint of confusion. She was sure she hadn’t lost her memory, yet she couldn’t recall any familiar or unfamiliar young woman.
Li Jin’an realized she genuinely didn’t remember. Her expression softened, her gaze flitting away for a moment. She whispered, “Just the server who delivered the food from the restaurant.”
“…” Xie Huaixue suddenly understood, then shook her head and chuckled. She then remembered that Li Jin’an cared about this matter and explained, “I don’t know her, nor will I marry her. Just as you said, we only have one choice. I will only marry you, but marriage isn’t making a choice…”
Nor is it a last resort when there are no other options.
“No ‘buts’!” Li Jin’an interrupted her decisively, asking back with great reason, “Is there a possibility that I wouldn’t mistreat myself? If I didn’t want to marry you, I would have broken off the engagement long ago, wouldn’t I? Those complicated things, you can teach me after we get married. I won’t skip lessons this time.”
Didn’t she understand herself? Not breaking off the engagement meant she didn’t want to “let go” of Xie Huaixue. After all, there were many young women waiting to pick up a wife these days. As far as she knew, that young woman was single, and her diligent food deliveries were to save money to marry a wife. As for whether she had other feelings for Xie Huaixue… Li Jin’an hadn’t considered such serious questions yet; she needed more time to agonize over them repeatedly. She was ignorant of romantic love, but wasn’t it enough to understand herself and Xie Huaixue? This wasn’t foolishness; she was just being more cautious.
“So, are you willing to marry me, Xie Huaixue?”
After asking, Li Jin’an felt that standing face-to-face and talking was too dry. She slapped her forehead, went to the small garden in the courtyard, picked up a shovel, and started digging. She dug out a pottery jar and happily handed it to Xie Huaixue, chattering away.
“This is all my private money; it’s all yours. All future money will be yours too. You can buy books, buy flowers, whatever. But you have to buy me a new sword; the one I’m using now is dull again…”
Xie Huaixue took it blankly. Time seemed to stop at that moment, no longer flowing. A large hole seemed to have opened in her heart. Everything related to Li Jin’an, including this jar, swept through her like a hurricane.
Li Jin’an was afraid she wouldn’t accept it and would return the jar, so she covered Xie Huaixue’s hands holding the jar with her own, feigning concern. “Why are your hands so cold? I’ll help you warm them up.”
A small furnace was best for warming up a cold block of ice.
After a long while, Xie Huaixue looked up, her dark gaze meeting Li Jin’an’s eyes. She said, word by word, “I will buy you a sword.”
Li Jin’an tried hard to think. Did Xie Huaixue just agree to her?
At least it wasn’t a rejection.
“You agreed! We’re getting married!”
Li Jin’an grinned, wishing the entire Huai’an City knew how happy she was. Then, in a flurry, she pressed her hand to her chest. Still feeling it wasn’t enough, she pulled Xie Huaixue’s hand and placed it there, pressing down.
“My heart is beating so fast and loud, louder than my voice. Can you hear its joyful sound?”
At this moment, Li Jin’an’s heart truly felt as though it wanted to leap into Xie Huaixue’s hand, openly and without restraint.
Every powerful beat was because of Xie Huaixue.
For a moment, it was hard to tell who was being flirtatious.
Xie Huaixue pursed her lips and whispered, “I hear it.”
She wasn’t like Li Jin’an, who wanted to announce everything. Her joy and shyness were extremely subtle and internal, not outwardly expressed.
Fortunately, Li Jin’an understood her just as well and knew they felt the same, so she didn’t mind this small detail.
Besides, such a shy and bashful Xie Huaixue was rare. Li Jin’an genuinely regretted not having a memory stone or similar item on her; otherwise, she could have preserved this scene forever.
This was Xie Huaixue, belonging only to her.
After a pause, Xie Huaixue looked up, meeting Li Jin’an’s sparkling phoenix eyes, and said, “I am also extremely delighted.”
Li Jin’an heard the sound of her heart blooming.