I Find Her Disgusting Chapter 63

Jiang Xidai paused, her expression clearing a little. She suddenly raised her eyes, placed her hands on Yan Huirou’s shoulders, and moved her a little further away.
Yan Huirou: “Do you… like me?”
Jiang Xidai was stunned for a moment, then quickly replied, “I don’t.”
But as soon as these unthinking words were out, she saw the girl’s pupils dim slightly, as if the warm sunlight had been faintly obscured. It was a cloud passing without a trace, just for an instant, before she returned to her usual self.
“I see.”
“…”
Something scratched at the bottom of Jiang Xidai’s heart, perhaps pulling a thread loose. She lowered her eyes and thought for a moment, then frowned and asked, “What kind of like are you talking about?”
“Probably,” Yan Huirou replied softly, “just the kind of affection a kiss implies. For example, there are so many ways to offer comfort. Why did you have to kiss me?”
It was a strange question. People can’t always find a proper explanation for their every action.
When Jiang Xidai was thinking, she loved to gently wind a strand of hair around her fingertip. But after fiddling for a while, she realized she had grabbed the wrong one. Yan Huirou was so close that the strand she was twirling was hers, which made things even more ambiguous.
Jiang Xidai cleared her throat softly and ambiguously let it go.
“When I was young, I once saw a junior sister. It was also a duel, and she lost to me,” Jiang Xidai said. “Perhaps she was hurt, because she cried her heart out. She was a delicate thing.”
“Afterward, her master, at her wit’s end, took out a piece of candy, and then kissed her between the brows, and only then did she feel better.”
But Jiang Xidai didn’t tell the rest of the story. At that time, a young her had stood alone in the distance, watching.
She had clearly won.
But seeing that scene, a great deal of envy had welled up in her heart.
She was sure that the elder was a gentle person. After watching for a long time, her heart began to beat a little faster. So she gathered some courage, followed them, and said that she was also in a little pain. So could…
She kiss her too?
Or give her a piece of candy?
She must have been very short back then, because the memory was still from a perspective of looking up. The woman’s face was blurry, but her gaze fell upon her—
“Her swordplay is too aggressive, as is her temperament. I’m afraid she will struggle to achieve anything great.”
After that, the elder had carried her disciple and left, leaving her with only a cold back.
Jiang Xidai stood there alone, watching them go.
Envy mixed with unwillingness eventually brewed into jealous hatred. Later, she remembered that junior sister’s face, and every time they dueled, she would be ruthless.
Of course, this matter had also enraged the entire Lingshan Sect, and she was severely punished. Along the way, Jiang Xidai had not gained anything good from it. Others only avoided her more.
Thinking of those gray memories, it took Jiang Xidai a long while to come back to her senses.
She said to Yan Huirou in a solemn tone, “I teach you swordplay, so naturally I am your elder. Seeing you cry so pitifully, what’s wrong with expressing an elder’s care for a junior?”
Hearing this, Yan Huirou tilted her head slightly, looking at her with a noncommittal expression.
“Are you pitying me?”
“…”
“Stop asking.” Jiang Xidai hated it when this little brat pressed for every last detail when she was trying to get the upper hand. She shot her a glare and chided her softly, “Insolent.”
Yan Huirou, however, smiled, her lashes lowering.
But a wound in her heart quietly opened.
Wicked-wo-man.
She liked her cooking, loved to hold her, and although she lied to her, she had saved her repeatedly. Such a person was willing to give her a reassuring kiss in her moment of despair, yet could immediately deny the affection within it.
An elder’s care for a junior? She didn’t know how much of it was true and how much was false.
If she isn’t a wicked one, then who is?
Yan Huirou looked up, her eyes moist again as she stared quietly at Jiang Xidai.
“Yan Huirou? Don’t be like this.” Jiang Xidai’s brow furrowed. She cupped her face gently, thinking, Is this brat going to cry again?
“Don’t cry.”
Really, what’s there to be so sentimental about?
Ever since the two of them had become familiar, she seemed to cry more and more.
Jiang Xidai scolded her, but seeing her eyes welling up with that same sad look, she couldn’t help but soften her tone. “…Although my feelings for you aren’t like that, I am still very fond of you. It’s not like I’m going to throw you out of the Shasheng Sect. Who are you crying like a little stray cat for?”
Yan Huirou suddenly looked up, reached out her hands, and cupped Jiang Xidai’s face in return. Before Jiang Xidai could react—
She kissed her on the forehead, right in the same spot.
She felt Jiang Xidai’s body stiffen. Inches apart, her beautiful eyes widened in a daze. Perhaps she had truly crashed, because it took her a long moment to ask, “What are you doing?”
Yan Huirou closed her eyes and kissed her. This kiss was heavier than the one Jiang Xidai had given, and it made her go limp, falling back onto the very noble soft couch in the main hall.
“…Yan Huirou?”
Yan Huirou, who had been forced to sit astride her lap, now took the opportunity to straddle Jiang Xidai’s waist.
Jiang Xidai rarely put herself in others’ shoes. She hadn’t felt anything when she was holding Yan Huirou, but now, being straddled and having her waist pinned, she finally felt a hint of shame.
She looked up at the slender figure above her and covered her own lips with her sleeve. “If you try anything funny again, I’ll—What are you doing? This is ridiculous.”
Yan Huirou kissed her again, her lips pressing against her skin, as if using up all her combustible courage, trembling slightly. “…You don’t need to worry. This is just a junior’s care for an elder.”
Jiang Xidai froze.
Her peach-blossom eyes flashed with a sharp light, on the verge of anger, but for a moment, she didn’t know how to refute those words.
After all, she had said the same thing just now, so her anger gradually subsided.
She blinked her lashes, and seeing Yan Huirou lean in, she subconsciously clutched the fabric at her chest, as if to guard against what Yan Huirou might do to her.
The faint hint of her full figure, with this clutch, and her fair fingertips against her pale pink skin, seemed even softer and more prominent.
Yan Huirou’s gaze was fixed on her eyes, not straying at all.
However, as Yan Huirou stared into her eyes, she took away the hand covering her collar and, on her own accord, helped her pull it up, covering her properly—then she got up.
“Trouble the elder to dress a little more properly in the future,” Yan Huirou said in a low voice. “Don’t walk around in front of a junior every day draped in light gauze, half-hidden, half-seen. And don’t hold a junior so intimately in your arms. Even if it’s for seclusion and cultivation, it will still give the junior a headache.”
Jiang Xidai said in disbelief, “You usually, weren’t you…”
Doesn’t Yan Huirou only like men? Even if she doesn’t like Li Xinghe, it can’t be that even her sexual orientation has changed too?
And it was because of this assumption that.
When Jiang Xidai held her, her guilt was next to nothing, and she hadn’t even changed her habit of dressing lightly.
What’s wrong with having a warm and fragrant little female lead in my arms?
Yan Huirou shouldn’t mind.
Jiang Xidai had no reservations and was naturally enjoying it very much.
As Jiang Xidai came to her senses, she pestered the System in her sea of consciousness many times, but the System’s answer was always firm.
[Yes, Host. The female lead’s sexual orientation will not change. This is one of the basic character settings.]
“Don’t you think that the way that little brat looks at me now is a little…” Jiang Xidai couldn’t quite describe it. She quickly checked Yan Huirou’s current favorability.
[Query successful! The female lead’s favorability toward you is: 129. Beep beep, the system is about to be upgraded and revised for a more intuitive query.]
In her sea of consciousness, Jiang Xidai saw a… vertical bar graph, with the words “Yan Huirou’s Favorability” written below it.
And with every point of favorability gained, a block of the graph turned red.
So the red blocks had accumulated into a pillar shooting up to the heavens, completely breaking through the upper limit of the favorability meter.
Beside it, the golden achievement “Oath of the Golden Orchid” was still shining brightly in her sea of consciousness.
“Why is this broken?”
[It might be because the favorability is too high, a statistical issue. Host, don’t worry about it. Please continue to complete the missions.]
Seeing that it was still at the level of “Golden Orchid” and that no strange new “achievements” had been issued, Jiang Xidai thought that Yan Huirou’s friendship toward her was quite resilient.
“Her doing this kind of thing to me, is it really not…” Jiang Xidai was still half-convinced, half-doubtful.
But then she thought about Yan Huirou’s age, only about twenty… Jiang Xidai recalled her own youth, when she would also occasionally act impulsively, in ways that were hard to explain.
She thought about it and decided there was no need to take a child’s momentary action to heart.
Perhaps she let out a sigh of relief, or perhaps in that sigh, there was a hint of loneliness she couldn’t even detect herself.
It’s fine. Even if it’s just trust and loyalty.
That’s enough.
She would not fall in love with Yan Huirou.
In this vast and ever-changing world, even the toughest cattail can be broken, and the most steadfast rock can be moved.
Jiang Xidai didn’t want to go through it again. She felt that her heart, in the end, was not made of real gold. Even if it were, after being tempered by fire and knocked around a few times, it should have some dents.
But Yan Huirou seemed to have truly taken Jiang Xidai’s words about elder and junior to heart, firmly remembering the etiquette between them. Even when they were in the same room, she no longer got close to Jiang Xidai at all.
Jiang Xidai was naturally displeased, as if a bowl of sweet fermented rice balls had been placed before her, and just as she had taken a few bites, it was abruptly taken away.
But she said nothing. Perhaps she felt she was in the wrong, or perhaps she felt she had been a little too indulgent with her emotions. She subconsciously resisted and closed her eyes to meditate quietly.
In meditation, this half-year passed in a flash.
In silence, Jiang Xidai healed her injuries, and along the way, she supervised Yan Huirou’s recovery and helped her raise her cultivation a little.
All was well.
When she brought Yan Huirou out of seclusion, she found that the even daylight fell on the little brat’s face. After all these days of recuperation, she seemed to have become a little more radiant.
“It’s so cold,” Yan Huirou said, covering her shoulders as she opened a crack in the door. “Sect Master, it turns out it’s snowing at the Shasheng Sect. I’ve never seen it before.”
“It is rare,” Jiang Xidai replied. “Yan Huirou, do you want to go for a walk?”
“…No, thank you.”
Unexpectedly, faced with such a strange sight, Yan Huirou was not in a good mood.
Yan Huirou gently refused her and looked up. “Sect Master, I’d like to pack up my things in Qionghua Hall today and move back to Bright Moon Pavilion. Is that alright?”
Yan Huirou added, “In the future, I will work hard on my cultivation.”
Jiang Xidai didn’t look at her for a moment, nor did she speak.
She opened her large embroidered umbrella and stepped into the snow, like a red plum branch growing slanted in the cold sky, utterly proud and aloof.
“Mm, as you wish.”