After I Died My Dao Companion Drowns in Endless Regret Chapter 106

The Path-Walking Dao Palace was on Dan Mountain.
The Langgan trees were laden with clusters of fruit, resembling piled clouds from a distance. From time to time, sparrows could be seen among them, and occasionally, the sound of conversation and laughter could be heard.
Little Tai Sui had used “fruit picking” as its excuse, but after returning to Dan Mountain, it did not pick any fruit and instead went directly into seclusion. What would Little Tai Sui be like when it emerged? Wei Yunshu’s mind was filled with swirling thoughts. She exhaled a breath of turbid air, swept her horsetail whisk, and her eyes focused on the Dao Palace that was faintly appearing ahead.
A kingfisher poked out from between the trees, vibrated its wings, and landed on the horsetail whisk. It tilted its head to look at Wei Yunshu, its eyes darting around, revealing a curious light. It spoke in a human voice, “Are you the guest under the Black Lord?”
Wei Yunshu nodded and said calmly, “Precisely.” After a pause, she asked, “Does little fellow Daoist know where the White Lord is? I wish to pay her a visit.”
The kingfisher shook its head and said with regret, “The White Lord has gone out to patrol the heavenly domain.”
“I see—” Wei Yunshu sighed. This time, she would not be able to see the White Tai Sui, and her hopes of inquiring about Little Tai Sui and observing its attitude towards the Fu Li Immortal Realm were dashed. But soon, Wei Yunshu emerged from this feeling of melancholy. She let out a self-mocking laugh and strode forward. The most important thing for her now was to push her cultivation to the Upper Immortal level. At that realm, she could go to the higher levels of the Demon-Hiding Cave, on one hand, to temper her ‘Separating Yin and Yang’ sword intent, and on the other, to earn merit points to exchange for Jun Tian Purple Qi.
The guides on Dan Mountain were all of the Feathered Race. After guiding Wei Yunshu forward, they did not leave but followed by her side like a small tail. By the time Wei Yunshu arrived at the magnificent and solemn Dao Palace, hidden in the ethereal clouds and mist, many sparrows had gathered by her side. They all tilted their heads to look at her, clearly very curious about her.
“Thank you, little fellow Daoists, for guiding the way,” Wei Yunshu bowed to the sparrows, took out the spiritual pills she had originally used to feed Little Tai Sui, and scattered them. The sparrows cheerfully pecked at the pills, and occasionally, a phrase like “Those who are allowed to come to Dan Mountain are very generous” would be heard. Wei Yunshu’s heart stirred upon hearing this. She had originally wanted to ask a few questions, but thinking of her purpose, she suppressed her miscellaneous thoughts. She took out the token, and with a light flick of spiritual energy, a dazzling light shot down from the Dao Palace, enveloping her entirely. Her vision went dark and then bright. A few breaths later, the vast expanse of Langgan trees was gone, and she found herself in a Dharma hall that was closed on all four sides.
The top of the Dharma hall was adorned with precious pearls, illuminating the hall as if it were daytime. On the walls were talismans glowing with a faint golden light. As they fluctuated, they revealed the cyan and red painted walls beneath. It was very blurry, and one could vaguely see the deep traces of time. As for what was on the picture, it was completely unclear. Wei Yunshu’s gaze swept over the talismans and then fell on the only furnishing in the hall—a meditation cushion. She reined in her miscellaneous thoughts and sat in meditation on the cushion. The cloud sand and precious medicines she had accumulated in the past were laid out one by one. As she cultivated, the spiritual energy in the hall also swirled.
The first step for a cultivator on the immortal path was to open the acupoints. The true fire nurtured in the acupoints was used to temper the spiritual energy of the cloud sand and transform it into their own spiritual power. After that were Foundation Establishment, Golden Core, Nascent Soul, and then Cavern Heaven. In these processes, if a cultivator wanted to break through a barrier, they had to first subdue their heart-fire. In the past, Wei Yunshu’s cultivation path could be said to have been smooth sailing. She had almost no distracting thoughts, and breaking through a realm, for her, was just a matter of gently pushing open the gate. But even so, Wei Yunshu was extremely cautious. Her aura was already at its peak state, and the thick accumulation only needed a push forward to rush towards the barrier like a flood. But she did not do so. Instead, she spent a month regulating her aura, making it round and flawless, and only then did she slowly push forward. In a turn of thought, her divine sense had already reached the gate of the restriction. In an instant, scenes from the past all leaped before her eyes, like flowing light and phantom images, surging one after another. At this moment, it was the time when inner demons were born.
But Wei Yunshu had no inner demons. It was as if as long as she walked forward and passed that period of consciousness, she could directly crash through the barrier. Wei Yunshu did not move. She vaguely sensed that something was not right. She believed that she could not reach a state of perfection. Even Yuan Chu, such an insignificant person could inexplicably stir her heart. There must be something suspicious about it. Thus, Wei Yunshu stayed on the “me” of the past. She did not merge with the countless “me” of the past, but sorted through the past events one by one. She didn’t know how long it had been. From birth to the present, the scenes all replayed once more, and there seemed to be no omissions. But Wei Yunshu still felt that the situation was strange, as if some entity had also shielded her divine sense, and she had glossed over it without realizing it.
Assuming she took everything she saw before her as real, and successfully entered a higher realm when all her selves merged, then these memories, whether true or false, would overlap with her past, all becoming shadows of her past. But she couldn’t take that step. Her instincts reminded her that once she took a wrong step, she would be on the wrong path. When the self has doubts, if the direction of the path is right, then it is because she herself has not reached perfection and is not suitable to move forward; if the direction is wrong, then she should not continue to move forward. Breaking through the realm at this moment became a dead end, a dead end. But the soaring and perfect aura needed an outlet. If she could not move forward, in the end, everything accumulated in her body would only destroy her foundation.
Wei Yunshu could only sort through the shadows of the past once more. She wrote down all the past as words on the ground, and this process was repeated countless times. Slowly, in her consciousness, in the comparison of the words, she discovered the blurry key point—the year she entered through the gates of immortality. It was known that the shadows of the past always existed, but some were clear and some were blurry, related to the “Dao.” Before she entered the path, her past wisdom was not yet clear, so she could only leave a vague shadow. When she first sorted through it, she always inadvertently skipped this part, until she repeatedly stirred her divine sense and peeled away the scene she had deliberately avoided layer by layer.
At the age of eight, she was brought back to the Western Continent by True Monarch Yuan Ying of Buzhou and became her true disciple. After cultivating to the Nascent Soul realm, she married a female cultivator from the Luoshui Divine Palace as her Dao companion. But what was this female cultivator’s surname and name? If she was wholeheartedly focused on the Dao, why would she marry that female cultivator as her Dao companion? If she was in love with the female cultivator, why was there only a blurry, unclear shadow of the female cultivator in the depths of her memory? When this thought emerged, Wei Yunshu found that there were even more problems she had avoided. Her memory seemed to have been deliberately repaired by someone! If she broke through the realm at this time, the memories left behind would all become shadows of the past, turning from false to real, and the true past self would instead be cut off. Could her Dao path still be pure? No wonder her heart had a premonition that once she took a step out, her path would be crooked.
Who on earth had locked and tampered with her memory?! Wei Yunshu was horrified, her whole body suddenly cold, as if she had fallen into an ice cave. Even if it was the last step, before she found her true “self,” it was impossible for her to take this step. At this moment, she should not be searching for the shadows of the past in her consciousness, but should be searching for the hidden, invisible restriction on her body.
Thinking this, Wei Yunshu immediately looked inward at her own shell. She suddenly discovered that there was a crack in her divine soul. Although the injury had been filled with great medicine, the traces left behind could not be eliminated. As for this crack, it was entirely caused by the stripping of the primordial soul from the shell. She had likely died once, but this scene did not appear in her past consciousness. Realizing this, Wei Yunshu’s heart grew even colder. She didn’t even know her “self”! Was she someone’s puppet? Could she also be a creation of the Heavenly Machine Institute? Wei Yunshu’s thoughts wandered for a while, and new inner demons materialized one by one. Wei Yunshu suddenly realized that this was not right. After slaying the inner demons with her sword, she calmed her heart and qi and focused on finding the “error” on her body.
She didn’t know how many times it had been, but Wei Yunshu finally found the Heavenly Imprisonment Lock in her divine soul. The true artifact had merged into her divine soul and shell, like threads tightly connecting her divine soul together. At this moment, the Heavenly Imprisonment Lock manifested, and on it was a floating talisman. Wei Yunshu couldn’t remember who had placed the Heavenly Imprisonment Lock on her. She subconsciously wanted to expel the foreign object that had fallen into her body. But as soon as the thought arose, the floating talisman automatically lifted, transforming into a snow-haired, red-clothed Luo Lingfeng who appeared in the depths of Wei Yunshu’s divine soul. And at this moment, the talismans in the Dharma hall also burst with golden light, and dense lines of light fell on Wei Yunshu’s body, like a golden giant cocoon.
It was as if a giant hammer was pounding her head, and Wei Yunshu was in great pain. She struggled to open her eyes, fixed her gaze on the figure in front, trying to grasp something from it.
The red-clothed figure gazed warmly at the bewildered Wei Yunshu, let out a light laugh, and said, “You have reached the point of attacking the Dao Fruit realm. You must have been in Shang Qing for some time. The wounds left by the Fu Li Immortal Realm have gradually faded, leaving only a resilience to seek survival. Then at this moment, my life or death will surely not affect you.”
“For two hundred years, it was I who failed you. Ah Shu, I’m sorry, goodbye.”
As soon as her voice fell, the red-clothed figure suddenly disintegrated, transforming into clusters of faint light like fireflies. And on the Heavenly Imprisonment Lock, a brilliant light suddenly burst forth. Countless suppressed memories rushed in like a flood, washing away all the past illusions that had appeared before, and re-enacting scenes, forming a long river of time that had never been smooth.
There was no immortal from Buzhou descending, no deep and harmonious love, no unrestrained swordswoman fighting against the world… There was only sitting opposite each other in silence, warming the zither, only “I turned my heart to the bright moon, but the bright moon shone on the ditch,” only the pursuit and killing in the deep vortex of the abyss and the echo of “The Road of No Return,” only the heart-wrenching, yet even in death, no regret of having known each other, the resolute and tragic pain.
She loved without words, and forgot without a heart.
She was trapped in a prison, but always thought that if she couldn’t see the cage, she could be truly free and happy.
A person trapped in love? What freedom could there be?
Was it her who was free, or the resolute Luo Lingfeng who refused to leave anything behind?
How could she die? How could she die like that? How could she die alone?!
A faint, emotionless voice sounded in her heart: “Sever all dharmas, do not be trapped by emotions, do not be disturbed by the heart.”
Wei Yunshu raised her head in a panic and saw another “me.” She was not a shadow of the past, but a reflection of a certain “future me.” She had read the “Severing All Selves” Daoist method and could naturally easily turn to this path. If she acted according to the words of the “future me,” her future would also turn from fake to real.
“Our generation cultivates the Dao and seeks to coexist with heaven and earth. If we do not forget our emotions, how can we attain the Dao?”
“Seeing through the void and reaching enlightenment early, only then can one seize the merit of the creation of heaven and earth. The human heart has desires, so there is no rest. Trapped by the six thieves, trapped by emotions and desires, if you do not sever your emotions and heart, how can you obtain peace?”
“Return your heart to the Dao, do not be trapped on a pirate ship. Otherwise, you will sink for a long time, and it will be too late to regret it.”
The “future me” persuaded her earnestly, holding a wisdom sword in her hand that could sever all love, hate, and emotions. With just a light nod, the pain, regret, and sorrow lingering in her heart would all be cut off, and she would take a step up and become her emotionless True Being.
Wei Yunshu’s head ached terribly, her eyes a mass of red. She looked up at the “future me” sitting in front and said angrily, “You shut up, you shut up!” The past all selves are me. What kind of severing is it to sever the past? If the heart is not right and the will is not sincere, how can one guard one’s nature? If you can’t even accept yourself, how can you not be born and not die? To meet “me” and then “sever me,” how absurd! A vast and endless spiritual energy churned in front. Wei Yunshu raised her sword and slashed towards the phantom of the “future me,” her body turning and walking towards the countless past shadows in the long river of time.
In the falling red dust, whether it was love, hate, kindness, or resentment, they were all her real self. To overlap the shadows of the past was just to walk the original path once more, just to carry countless pains forward. Why throw them away? Why couldn’t she accept them? The pain pulled at her divine soul. She stumbled through the old days. One by one, the shadows of the past overlapped with her true form. Her aura, which had been fluctuating due to the churning of her emotions, slowly became round and harmonious. At a certain key point, that aura suddenly crashed upwards. With only a very slight cracking sound, countless vast primordial qi descended from above, pouring into her body. She didn’t know how long it had been. The primordial qi gradually converged, and the inner heaven and earth finally stabilized, and the surging aura also disappeared. At this point, Wei Yunshu had integrated all the shadows of the past into herself, truly stepping into the Dao Fruit realm, and could be considered a “True Being.”
In the Dharma hall, as Wei Yunshu’s aura settled, the vast golden light also became introverted. The talismans on the wall only floated gently. A few days later, Wei Yunshu woke up from her meditation. She sat on the meditation cushion without moving, her quiet and calm eyes devoid of any emotion. After a long while, the suppressed emotions suddenly surged up, forming a huge vortex. Tears fell like broken pearls, dripping onto her Dharma robe.
To live, she couldn’t let go; to die, she couldn’t let go even more.
Why did she use such a resolute way to sever the past? Was it because her refusal hurt her?
She had hoped that the Sacred Heart could change her even a little, but in the end, it was all a fantasy. Was it that she couldn’t turn back? Or that she didn’t want to turn back anymore?
Since entering the Path-Walking Dao Palace to pursue the upper realm, Wei Yunshu had spent a full two years before she walked out. The Langgan fruits on Dan Mountain were still hanging full on the branches, and the sparrows playing among the branches had not changed in the slightest, as if time had stagnated at that moment. But Wei Yunshu knew in her heart that nothing would be eternal.
“Congratulations, True Being,” the kingfisher leaped onto her shoulder and said cheerfully.
Wei Yunshu responded warmly and took out a bottle of pills to feed the little bird. In any case, she still had to continue to move forward. The dead would not return, but the living were still waiting for her in the Fu Li Immortal Realm. If the Fu Li Immortal Realm could not be liberated, it would be an even greater failure to her. Composing herself, Wei Yunshu asked again, “Has the Black Lord come out of seclusion?”
The kingfisher shook its head and said, “No.”
It was within expectations, but a faint disappointment still appeared. Wei Yunshu drooped her eyes. A moment later, she asked, “Then is the White Lord here?”
The kingfisher said, “No.” With the thought of “returning the favor after eating one’s things,” it added, “When the White Lord returns, I will tell her.”
Wei Yunshu smiled and said, “Thank you.” Since the master was not on Dan Mountain, she had no reason to stay.
In the Dao Palace.
The White Tai Sui manifested its form and asked the illusory figure in front, “Are you not going to see her?”
“In the Wu Xiang Academy, don’t I see her often?” the speaker’s tone was casual.
The White Tai Sui was silent for a moment and then said, “This is different.”
Yuan Chu let out a light scoff, “After seeing her, what should I say? Tell her she is Sang Que? Or Sang Buwei? I can certainly directly awaken her past consciousness, but doing so would ultimately hinder her Dao cultivation. I want her to slowly recognize her own heart and come back.”
The White Tai Sui muttered, “After she recognizes it, she probably won’t come back.” When Sang Buwei left the Wu Xiang Heaven domain back then, she was very unrestrained, waving her hand and not taking anything with her. And if the former Emperor said this, she would still believe it, but now that the Emperor’s avatar had returned, she had deep-rooted emotions and was both good and evil, so it was not certain what kind of outrageous things she would do. After thinking for a while, she brought up the main business, “In the Wu Xiang Academy, besides the cultivators of our Wu Xiang Heaven domain, there are also disciples of the other five heavens. In short, they were either the main force that expelled the Gan Yuan lineage back then or their disciples. They only have enmity for those of the ‘heart-cultivating Dao.’ Although there are cultivators of the Gan Yuan lineage who have infiltrated the academy, they have never dared to transmit their Dao thoughts.” The Dao battle that had lasted for ten thousand years had left extremely painful memories for the disciples of both sides. The remaining people did not have the resolute determination of the Four Lords of Gan Yuan to risk everything. “Should we push them to meet with that one? Or should we drag the created beings with intelligence into the vortex?”
“There’s no need for the created beings with intelligence,” Yuan Chu drooped her eyelids and said casually, “Let those people be exposed in the academy.”
The White Tai Sui’s eyelids twitched. She looked up at Yuan Chu’s illusory and uncertain figure and asked again, “What are you planning to do? The things that happened back then have already proven that all this cannot be done in the open.”
At the very beginning, those few had no intention of betraying their sects. They thought of “heart-cultivating Dao” and “Severing All Selves” coexisting, but the matter of shaking the heavenly order was forbidden by the five venerables, so what followed was a ruthless slaughter. The five major heavenly domains were led by the five major sects. As for the Wu Xiang Heaven domain—they did not express their stance, but they also let the heart-cultivating Dao and Severing All Selves sides fight each other, letting them develop naturally. Those who severed all selves would not do anything to Sang Buwei because of the Emperor, but when killing other cultivators, they never showed mercy. In their eyes, Sang Buwei at that time had abandoned a path that everyone envied.
Yuan Chu said faintly, “In the past, they had no support. Now the academy provides them with a place of refuge. No matter what they cultivate, they are not allowed to fight privately in the academy.”
The White Tai Sui hesitated for a moment and added, “Then won’t the pressure all shift to you?”
Yuan Chu glanced at the White Tai Sui and smiled, “I just don’t want the academy to become a place of slaughter. What have I pushed for? Even if those five fellow Daoists appear, what can they say? Besides, they may not be able to appear now.” At her level, the true self could not act rashly, and the five venerables were the same.
White Tai Sui: “You were ultimately influenced by her.”
Yuan Chu raised her eyebrows, flicked her sleeve, and a Tai Chi Yin Yang diagram fell on the ground, the black and white auras like fish encircling each other. She smiled freely and said, “Look at this fish eye, can you still separate it?”
On that side, after leaving Dan Mountain, Wei Yunshu returned to the Wu Xiang Academy. She did not return to the Tianque Blessed Land at the first moment but went to Xie Zhichao’s cave dwelling. Not long after, Ran Xiuyun also hurried over. After seeing that they were fine, Wei Yunshu did not say much, only calmly saying, “I remember.”
Xie Zhichao’s fingertips rubbed the hanging jade pendant at her waist. Whenever she was annoyed, she wanted to drink. But after touching emptiness, she remembered her oath again. “Senior Sister Bo, you—” Xie Zhichao hesitated for a while and opened her mouth, but after saying a few words, she didn’t know how to relieve the accumulated emotions in her heart. She, an outsider, was like this, let alone Wei Yunshu?
Ran Xiuyun was silent for a while and comforted her softly, “With True Monarch Luo’s methods, she may not have no chance of victory. The void mystic cave stretches above the Fu Li Immortal Realm. Perhaps her primordial spirit is also hidden within. When the time comes, when we return to the Fu Li Immortal Realm, we will be able to rescue True Monarch Luo from her predicament.”
How could Wei Yunshu not know that Ran Xiuyun was comforting her? Heaven and Earth United in Chaos had mobilized the spiritual energy of the three continents to destroy the Dharma Manifestation. That powerful energy had destroyed heaven and earth and transformed into a void mystic cave. Even a True Being could not cross it. How could there still be a primordial spirit left? But she did not want Ran Xiuyun, Xie Zhichao, and the others to worry, so she nodded and said seriously, “I think so too. When everything is over, I will go find her.”
Xie Zhichao looked at Wei Yunshu for a long time. Seeing that she was not dejected, she was slightly relieved.
Wei Yunshu asked again, “Is Junior Sister Ying in seclusion?”
Xie Zhichao nodded and said, “Junior Sister’s cultivation is too far behind. Senior Sister Ran and I both think she shouldn’t go to the Demon-Hiding Cave first. As for the cultivation resources, we will earn them for her.”
Wei Yunshu did not interfere with Xie Zhichao and the others’ decision. She took out two jade slips and placed them on the stone table, saying warmly, “Inside is the ‘Commentaries on the Yin Yang Sword Sutra.’ It is a true sword Dao scripture written by Ancestor Sang Buwei. I have comprehended a divine ability on the sword called ‘Separating Yin and Yang,’ which can kill both demons and dark energy. You are true disciples of Buzhou and can also take a look.”
Ran Xiuyun’s expression suddenly tightened. “Ancestor? I and Junior Sister Xie have also gathered some information. The Gan Yuan lineage has not been completely killed. For example, the Dragon Lord and Cloud Lord were only imprisoned. Ancestor was taken away by the White Lord of the Wu Xiang Heaven domain. How is she now? Is there any news about her?”
Wei Yunshu shook her head and said, “No.”